You Don’t Own Me…
Sis and I had a little talk the other day. Interesting how somebody you can live your entire life with somebody and STILL not know everything about them.
During the “talk” Sis pointed out to me that I have very STRICT boundaries. That’s just the way she said it, too… in bold capital letters. The implication was, that this is somehow a bad thing-said more like an accusation than a statement of fact.
You know what? I DO have some pretty definate boundaries. I decided to ponder on the reason why. I pondered and pondered and pondered…for about a nano-second before I let Sis in on the big secret – the probable reason for my all-walls-up-do-not-cross-this-line boundaries.
My mother, although she has been dead for many years, was ALWAYS right. Really. ALWAYS. Do you know how annoying that is? My father is ALWAYS right. Even when he’s wrong. My sister, bless her soul, is ALWAYS ALWAYS right. My best friend, is irrevocably, definately and without question ALWAYS right. Do you know how hard it is for me to sit in the middle of all those geniuses and right-minded people? If I didn’t have some pretty strong boundaries, I’d be squashed flatter than banana pulp by now. Sometimes I just gather my boundaries snugly around me and roll up in a ball just like an old armadillo. “Water off a duck’s back” philosophy never worked for me….but putting on armor sure did.
I tend to keep people at arm’s length. There is just NO more room in my life for another authority on any damn thing.
What’s really funny is that each of these people (sis, dad, friend) are SURE they know all about me and who I am. They don’t. They don’t know a damn thing.
Sis can’t remember that I like onions. Every time we eat something where onions are optional she’ll say… OH – wait – you don’t like onions! And every time I remind her that I’ve liked onions since I was about 15.
Dad doesn’t get the woo-woo stuff at all. He doesn’t understand just how important things along that line are to me.
Friend – what can I say? She is the least compassionate, least empathetic, most self-interest motivated individual I’ve ever encountered (well… maybe Dubya comes close – but I don’t know him PERSONALLY). She is sure that I share her values, even though I have regularly pointed out that “my” world is mostly gray while “her” world is ALL Black and White.
I love them all….I truly do. And I think I understand them pretty well. But maybe I’m just as wrong about them as they are about me. Wouldn’t THAT be a pisser?
So….since I am basically penniless…I am looking into a new career – as an island sitter. You know – like a dog-sitter or a house-sitter. If anyone doesn’t want to leave their deserted island entirely deserted, then they can hire me to stay there for them. Of course, there are some minimum requirements…
To be “sittable” an island must have:
NO snakes that can eat me whole.
An enormous supply of fresh water for drinking (I am SO not going to boil water all day every day…)
Suitable housing – no lean-tos or accommodations without indoor plumbing.
If the island is in colder climates, there MUST be adequate heating. THERE WILL BE NO NEGOTIATION ON THIS POINT.
Internet Access
What else????????
Oh yeah – a “buff” cabana boy (whether or not there’s a cabana) that has a really good brain, speaks only when spoken to, wears a kilt (ALL other clothing optional) and who’s only wish is to serve me.
Whaddya think?
OOPS! Gotta run….gotta get my ad for my new island-sitter career into the paper before the deadline…….
Was just passing through, thought I would say Hi and if you ever find that Island Please let me know I just want to take a peek at the Cabana Boy..hehe. My family is like yours, except they think they are ALWAYS right, rarely are they ever. I actually moved 800 miles away from them after 38 yrs. I must say..it feels wonderful to not live each day with that! Take Care
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I must really say, I do understand what you say and how you do mean. It is so hard to cope with those always knows it all (no) and just assume we think and react like the person (them)….I wish you a happy Island hunt and Candy Day hugs (ty) Love
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hey, i was fitting the bill pretty well until i got to the cabana boy thing.. LOL. guess san diego is out, huh? hehe. interesting, isn’t it, how sometimes people you live with for years really don’t know you at all. last night i had a .. um.. little discussion with someone about that very thing…. anyways, good luck on your island search! 🙂
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oh, one more thing. the island’s got to have a good supply of chocolate, right? *grins*
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here are more candy – hugs to ur dentist from moi 🙂
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Ooooh, can I come and join you with that island sitting. I won’t be a bother, we can sit on opposite sides of the island if needed! I can so relate to your feelings here, you sound a lot like me. 🙂
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Seems to me that you are surrounded by self-absorbed people (friendly ones) and you have needed to keep yourself safe by keeping them backed off a bit. Good for you as you know what you can and cannot take…boundaries are the best…it means that you are keeping you safe from those that will trample all over you and your needs..I think you know these people very well..love you lots
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err surely if it was a deserted island then no-one would be there in the first place to want it looked after?? Or am I just being right here? ROFLMAO I do understand , hon..but ou just go on being you cos we like you the way ya is! RYN: No you never told us that was your middle name..now isn’t that surprising? Hugz Harley nsi
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****Giggles**** Same name,lots of the same interests, open hearts and functional gray matter,love for the absurd,ecclectic musical tastes,and both good fence makers.Yeah,ya just gotta love it!I too believe in boundaries…hey, good fences make good neighbors!I’ll be on the island next door,feel free to sail over anytime!Wouldn’t that be sweet?!!!OH!Found George W. Bush’s diary last night! *Grins!*
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No kidding, I was going to sign off and saw it on recent entries. Because of all the horrendous spelling I thought…could this be him? I about fell over laughing.Grrr.The real deal is I want to projectile voimt and cry…what happened to elections in our country?After all those years of trying to ensure free elections in other countries I’ve just been sick since this whole shitpile deal.
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Well, Sunshine Wolf, I believe you’ve struck a point there. People often think they know a lot more than they do. Except I usually don’t correct them, and then go confuse the crap out of them later. And then there’s people who know more than you think and it’s scary sometimes. Sometimes I’m one of the latter. But I don’t tell people what to do, or what I know, so I don’t think most people (tbc)
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realize these things. And Island sitting… great idea. but yeah, internet access and heat must be included. And electricity for my ‘lectric blanket. Cuz that baby is my hero. It’s heated me up when I thought I was beyond the point of thawing. THANK YOU ELECTRIC BLANKET!!! lol. So anyways… have a nice day.
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Oh, I have a “know-it-all” in my life, and he drives me up the wall! He is ALWAYS right and will argue his point until I’m crazy from listening. – I think that it’s okay if you have boundaries. Sounds like you need them, being surrounded by know-it-alls like you are. – Just stopped in to say “hi.” 🙂
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Understandable….very understandable… but ya know what after thinking about what you said sometimes ack everyone feels that they are right and someone else is wrong…. ya know what I mean…..?????? Oh well hhehehehe go figure…. Lael
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maui jim’s place on a tropical paradise island has the amenities you want and should do just fine. He comes to the mainland to visit folks occasionally. Your application for housesitter might work.
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*grin* Well I’m usually right most of the time, except when I’m not then I start talking quick and gesturing faster and leave the conversation before people can realise I just pulled a fast one on em.
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LMAO at Paula’s note. Shitpile deal. LOL! She’s right. Where was I. Oh yeah. STRICT BOUNDARIES! Well, how dare you go and get yerself some boundaries. Don’t you know that it’s your duty to be taken advantage of and to be the fall guy, er, girl? Hey! I want a cabana boy!!!!!!! If you get yerself one o’ them thar things, could ya find me one, too?? It gets lonely up here in Corn City.
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Your friend sounds like my friend from Jax who comes over every so often… it couldn’t be could it?!? I told her ecently, I HATE shopping so don’t take me any more, I am so left that if I wasn’t your friend you’d call me a pinko commie bastard (she supports dubya!) and that I am capable of choosing my own men without her input. She was taken aback but has treated me with more respect since!
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As for the Island it would have to be in a warm area and another point for your ad would be no volcanoes!! And I’m not sure about being eaten whole by a snake but I definitely wouldn’t want to be bitten by one that could cause agonising death without anti-venom so I think that would have to be in the 1st aid box too!
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We all need boundaries….whether they are strict or not depends on your own life…and your own personal thoughts on things. If we didn’t have some sort of boundaries……we’d get pulled into the fire without knowing it until we’ve been there for awhile, with no chance of escape OR survival! Umm…I’d rather have me my own personal cowboy!! *giggles* Hugs and Loves!
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umm ok
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Hey you! You never did say what costume you chose for that party . . .
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LMAO at your note!!!!! COOOOOL COSTUME, Lady!!!!!!!!!!
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You know what I think? (Hi, by the way. Long time no type.) What I think is (and I could be wrong here), but I think that you don’t realize that you are always right. How you feel and what you think is right for you. That’s what having an opinion is all about. We each live in our own realities. You are entitled to your own opinion whether you agree or disagree with all these folk. *hugs*
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Works for me 😉 oh and it must allow for visitors as well. (DrmDrgn)
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Just heard about your costume – sounds great and my bra does double duty (no pun intended) sometimes as well. (DrmDrgn – still not signed in)
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But, but, but–can I come visit? I’ll take the island next door. My walls are at least as good as yours, and I rather feel sorry for R if there is going to be any effort made to climb, tunnel, or build a door through them. Arm’s length is comfortable for newcomers to my life. With a smile…
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I don’t think your sister is so unhappy with your STRICT boundaries as much as she means she is unhappy that you apply them to HER, too. 🙂 Good on you for keeping to them. Sam has very good boundaries and is very consistent about keeping me to them. For example, I am not allowed to bite him. I really really want to, sometimes, but he is very strict about it AND he applies it to everyone. (c)
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(2) Sam is a complete “No biting” zone. Tangent: have you seen (or are you planning to see) Punch Drunk Love. I really liked it. It is one of those movies you will either really like or really not like. /end Tangent
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mmmm you know with the right sitting, laying, hanging, partner you wouldnt even need the cabanna boy. Okay so maybe I am not so ‘buff’ but I have worn a kilt before. and I could even boil the water.
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ROTFLMO…Sounds like a dream job! I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you, hon. I understand what you mean about the boundries as necessary protection. I think you’ve got the right idea. Hang in there! *hugs*
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Island sitting…of course!! That’s it, I’m changing careers. ~:D ArtImp, nsi
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