May 2, 2000

Wonder Bra

It started Monday. I was walking down the hall at work when I heard a very faint creaking. I checked the usual suspects no, my shoes werent complaining and neither were my bones. Then the creaking stopped and I went merrily on my way. Then it happened again!

creak..creak, creak.cccccrrrrrrrreeeeeaaaaaakkkkkkkk

What was it? I stopped dead still in my tracks. The creaking halted. I took a few tentative steps forward. There it was again.

creak..creak, creak.cccccrrrrrrrreeeeeaaaaaakkkkkkkk

Oh for pitys sake!!!! I stood still again. I flexed my left foot, then my right. No creak. I shook my left leg, then my right. No creak. I put my left arm in, I put my left arm out, I put my left arm in and I shook it all about. I did the Hokey Pokey and I turned myself around.

creak..creak, creak.cccccrrrrrrrreeeeeaaaaaakkkkkkkk

I decided to ignore it. It was a very little creak, after all. I am an intelligent woman and I can do anything I set my mind to. Ignoring a creak should be a very small challenge for me. No problem. Bingo its done! That lasted for about 3 minutes. Then I was on the verge of running down the hall screaming. Not wanting to upset the folks at work, this is a new job after all and they are not quite used to me yet, I maintained my composure and concentrated on the noise.

It was definitely coming from the upper half of my body. It seemed to become more pronounced when I reached for something or shifted my shoulders. Then it hit me Good Grievin Moses!!!!! My bra was creaking! The underwire was rubbing against the fabric in some odd little way and producing the creak! Just like a cricket rubbing its legs together!

I went into my office and closed the door so I could have a little private chat with my bra.

Whats up with the creaking all of a sudden? Are you complaining or singing joyfully? I dont understand. It cant be complaining its not as if Im Tawny Peaks! Youre certainly not overburdened by the enormity of the job! I hand wash you with special detergent and never put you in the dryer. You have your own special drawer with others of your kind. You have always been one of my favorites. I dont overwork you.you have every weekend and most evenings off

My bra stayed silent. Not even a small creak in reply.

OK, then maybe its joy. If its joy, can you explain to me what you have to be particularly joyful about so I can share your joy?

Still no answer.

So whats a girl to do? Perhaps my bra is haunted. Maybe its a musical bra. Perhaps it has speech capabilities similar to those of my pets and plants, but I dont understand it. Perhaps it is just that time in life when I need to be paying attention to my lingerie. Perhaps an evil magician cast a random spell on my bra when it was being manufactured!

It seems the possibilities are endless.and my poor little overtaxed brain is going into overdrive. I took the damn thing off and stuck it in the BACK of the drawer! Well just SEE when it will get to see the light of day (so to speak) again! Hah! Thatll teach it!

Today my other bra is not creaking, not talking to me..and I kind of miss it..

Yep, my wonder bra creaks too. I think all the advertisement got to its head, and now it needs to make its presence heard, as well as seen!

It’s hard to give up a friend that’s held you together for so long. Maybe someday the three of you can reunite… HeHe..

LMAO! Oh SW…only the girls will truly appreciate this one. This is a total hoot! ~:)

hehehe , loved that last note

While the triteness of some of the internet shorthand bugs me, I too was LMAO. And I’m not even a girl (ask k).

hehe…i love it! and my bra creaks also goddamnit.

lol…sorry I can’t share in your experience, mine doesn’t creak, but I’m sure it will one day. I’ll just be waiting.

I just wanted to THANK YOU…cause this story just made my day!!! :o)

hehe Wonder Bra hear it roar! err Creak! hahaha good topic

My Wonder Bra talks as well. I dont wear it that much for other reasons. So its not just you!!! (Shawnodese)

This made me laugh! I loved the writing. I have heard of the same complaints about this bra.

Haha! That is hilarious! It made my day.

That was a GREAT entry! Not having much experience in bra use, I was unaware of their “tonal” qualities … thanks for the smile!

I loved that entry! thanks for your note, and have fun with your bubbles!

You know I may have the sister of your creaking bra. I had to “ground” it for being disorderly. Very cute entry, thanks for the smile

BBe

May 3, 2000

*LOL* You’re too much SW! Thanks for the smiles.

When I get home..I am gonna rip my wife’s bra off! (Cos it’s killing me!) Hugz

They need teflon coatling on the wires. Sometimes my shoulder creaks, but that’s another story. I’m going to listen to my female colleagues more closely now…it’d be cool to bust one (:-) while creaking. Love,

Mns

ahahahaha! I’ve never had mine talk to me… or maybe it did but I just wasn’t listening 🙂 hmmm.. can u imagine what it would say? LOL

i love love LOVE shel silverstein! he’s my absolute favorite poet. i see you have good taste 😉

My underwire creaks often…I think it’s rather amusing, myself. What a strange thing that women can share together! _Beckers625

Uh Oh… really need to worry when the bra starts making diary entries…LOL 🙂

Too funny! I wonder about the mysterious creakers passing my office all day . . . does it go away in humid weather?

*ROTFL* OH-migosh! That has got to be one of the best day-brighter-upper entry I’ve ever read!!! *Laffin* Thanks so much for making me smile once again! ©©©

Being a bra must be a herculean task, having to remain supportive under extreme conditions and still maintain that aura of indifference..no “wonder” they crack!!!!

A little Three In One oil perhaps? The problems we women have …. They never seem to end. 🙂 Peace and love,

too cute!! Thanks for the wonderful notes!! You sound like a great person to know!

oh no! my fav bras are the twelve dollar ones i got at wal*mart that they do not sell or make anymore, and even the new fancy ones mom got me for christmas just don’t compare. *groan* creek? mine bite!!!

so how’s may 20 for the zoo? or 21?

ROTFLOL….I really needed this laugh…thank you my friend! I’m lucky, in most cases I can get away without wearing a bra, YAY! J

This is screamingly funny, Sunshine Wolf. Perhaps your wonder bra was haunted by the spirit of crinolines and tight corsets in the days before the war between the states.

And you said the paint fumes were affecting MY brain? Bras talking to you, really now Ms. Wolf! But seriously, these notes should go to readers choice. Especially Lincoln. LMAO with all the rest. 🙂

Torin Invanusson

May 4, 2000

I hesitated to enter when I read the title. I am glad I came in, although I am rather alarmed about Harley now!! With a grin that dissolves into laughter…

You are so funny! Now if it were me, that bra would not have creaked. It would have groaned! Love,

the bottom 2

hahaha that’s why they call it the wonder bra / you wonder why…. my bra is silent I would enjoy the company something to talk to me other then trees and rocks oh and my dog

i WISH my bra had something..anything to say!!! another very cute entry, SW *giggles*.;)))

Falling off my chair onto the floor laughing my ass right off!! I had a bra that did that. Wonder what I did with it. I worry when my clothes get chatty!

chutes

May 5, 2000

ROFL!

This is hilarious! Makes you torn between burning them all and writing a play for ’em, huh. Now I have to find the time to go back and read you from the beginning. great style!

A really neat entry. I admire your writeing ability.