Ugh…Just Plan UGH

It’s only been a couple of  few days since I last wrote,  but it feels like just about a century.  There is so much going on that each hour seems like a year.

We seem to have mostly gotten over the sex ed conversations.  Now we are on to bigger and better things – like the upcoming 8th grade dance.  This is THE event of the year at school since our principal pretty much loathes having dances for the kids.  This is the only one allowed.  And it’s only for 8th graders.  It is very much like a Prom.  The cafeteria is decorated elegantly.  A photographer is available.  There is an awards presentation for things the kids vote on like “cutest couple”, “best eyes”, “Mr. and Ms. Middle School”.  Some of the teachers put on a skit. (Ummm.  I am going to be one of the TEMPTATONS, singing “My Girl” AK!!).  It’s 4 hours long.  Kids (who can’t afford to buy lunch) rent limos.  And OF COURSE there are endless ‘after’ parties.  But back to the conversations at hand…

The girls get formal dresses and the boys wear tuxes.  My baby middle school boys are getting their first REAL taste of female domination in the social world as their dates dictate the terms of the tuxedo.  What style, what color…. and the boys stand by and nod with a deer-in-the-headlights look. 

“Miss!  Leslie says I have to get a baby blue tux!”

“Really?  Where are you going to get that?”

“I don’t know.  But maybe I’ll get a white one and just the middle piece will be blue.  You know – under the jacket?”

“You mean the cumberbund or the vest?”

“Yeah.  That.”

“You could. Is that what Leslie wants?”

“No.  What SHE really wants is for me to get a lime green tux cause there’s lime green in her dress.”

“I see.  And where do you think you’re gonna find a lime green tux?  At the Huggy Bear Pimps R Us store?”

“Awwwwww, Miss!!!”

And so it goes.

All the while – it was teacher appreciation week last week.  A time to show teachers how much you love them.  We had an action packed week.  Monday – a chef came and fixed us omelettes for breakfast.  This was actually pretty cool – the guy was operating 5 frying pans at a time and doing a damn good job!  Tuesday was Continental Breakfast Day.  Can someone tell me when Continental Breakfast came to mean a few Dunkin Munchkins, cut up croissants and some Little Debby Honey Buns?  Ewwwwww.  Wednesday was my favorite day.  ONE lucky female teacher won a body wrap – to be done IN THE TEACHERs LOUNGE.  Two more lucky female teachers won some sort of special $80.00 bra.  For $80.00 a bra ought to do more than “lift and separate” in my opinion.  Oh yeah – and a couple of male teachers won gift certificates to something.  The REST of us LUCKY female teachers could go get measured (again in the TEAHCERS LOUNGE) for a new $80.00 bra of our own.  Of course, we’d have to PAY for it….AFTER suffering the indignity of being measured in the middle of the lounge.  Yeah.

There was another notable thing about Wednesday.  That was the day I discovered the the woman who was planning the big week of super whoopie doooo stuff for us, had neglected to finish planning Thursday’s activity, which was a Wester Theme BBQ.  After trying fruitlessly to get her to do what was needed….I split up my 4th and 5th block classes and went to Sams club to buy the rest of the supplies.  Notice that I did not say that I CHEERFULLY went to Sam’s Club?

Thursday I spent all darn day in front of an ENORMOUS smoker/grill, cooking ribs and chicken for the faculty.  Oh yeah – I also made the salad, the baked beans, the corn on the cob and iced down the drinks.  Er – we didn’t have dessert.  Damn it – I had to draw the line SOMEWHERE.  I did NOT wear the stupid red cowboy hat that the woman non-planner insisted that I wear.  Of course, I also did not choke her, so all things considered, the day went well for her.

Friday we got goodie bags.  A cheap canvas bag containing a pen, marker, and mouse pad with the school name on it.  No expense spared there. (NOTE:  Insert heavy dose of sarcasm with that last sentence).  OK.  Maybe the chap goodie bag was not so bad…but I was so ticked off over Thursday’s lunch fiasco that I didn’t care.

Friday I had also contracted with the Peer Mediator Club to cater their end of year luncheon (me and my students).  UNFORTUNATELY, one of the 8th grade teams decided to choose that day for their end of year picnic – which pretty much cleaned out my classes that were supposed to help with that……so I was baking Lasagne, frying chicken, heating up potatoes, making salad and finishing up the cookies and cupcakes with just 2 students and 1 other teacher (who makes the BEST fried chicken in the world!)  Friday after school we had a meeting about the summer program – which is to be a pilot program funded by United Way and as such is a bunch of question marks.  And the possibility that they may allow another teacher to use my room and equipment on the days I am not there…..oh I’m going to have issues with THAT!  I am responsible for the condition of all things and equipment in my room – including appliances, 8 computers, knives, etc.  And they want to allow someone else access to it?  How am I supposed to maintain any order that way?  And they would also have access to my supplies which you KNOW they won’t be able to resist….and I do not have facilities to lock up.  And the Asst Principal said…yeah well – its not yours anyway it belongs to the school.  Really?  And how am I suppopsed to TEACH the STUDENTS in the school with no functional equipment and no supplies?

Add to that schedule, 3 days of after school program and 1 day of after school skit practice for the 8th grade dance….and today I am sick as a dog.  Stuffy nose, sore throat… I just want to roll over and not wake up until I’m……21 again.  HOWEVER….

Sis is still breaking up her household in NC and today she had to come and unload more furniture that she doesn’t want to get rid of into my house.  I’m not complaining here – I’m getting some nice stuff.  But I am tired and feel crappy and my house is a pig sty…..I didn’t want to deal with strange men in my house and positioning furniture.  Whinewhinewhinewhinewhine.  Are you sensing a theme here?  Whinewhinewhinewhinewhine.

Highlights of the coming week:  3 days after school program.  1 day faculty meeting.  1 day academic awards ceremony.  1 day 8th grade dance practice.  1 day 8th grade dance.

The next week Chickie gra

duates from High School (praise the Lord and pass the peanuts!)  Young Stud and Star will be down for a couple of days – either to witness the graduation or participate in my funeral, whichever comes first.

I’d like to spend some time catching up with everyone, but right now I just have to concentrate on breathing, so I’ll catch up later.  Maybe by then my sense of humor will be back as well.