Sex, Lies and Video Tapes

Catchy title, huh?  Someone ought to write a movie script… *grins*

My sixth graders are in that Halloween frame of mind.  Sure, they’re middle schoolers, but they’re still babies in so many ways.  (I don’t believe they belong in the same school with 7th and 8th graders – but that’s an entire rant all on its own).  So I had the following conversation last week….

"Are you going to dress up for Halloween, Miss Wolf?"

"I probably will" (I was thinking of the no-holds-barred down and dirty Halloween party that one of the teachers hosts annually…)

"What will you dress up as?"

"I don’t know yet."

"My dad is going to dress up as a sexy fireman and my my is going to be a……….OH!  I KNOW WHAT THEY’RE GOING TO DO!!!"

The look of simultaneous horror and astonishment that crossed that poor boy’s face was priceless!!!  When I finished trying to control the spasms of laughter that were trying to wrack my body I asked him calmly…

"And how do you think you got here anyway?"

Evil Ms. Wolf.  I positively delighted in the conflicting emotions that rolled their way unchecked across his face.

There is a growing contingent of "goth" children at my school.  Most of them seem to be experimenting with some version of paganism/wicca.  They don’t have a real clear picture of what it is, but they’re giving it a shot.  One of these boys is in my class.

One day he came up to my desk and asked if I believe in God.  This is not an area that it is wise to discuss in school nowadays, so I warily said that yes, I do.

To which he replied… "He’s not all that".

To which "I" replied… "Who says God’s a he?"

Befuddled and confused…and unable to provoke an angry reaction from me, the boy went back to his seat.

The next day he is at my desk again.

"I can do spells.  I can change my eye color and levitate paper."

I leveled a blank look at him and asked… "Are you telling me you are into Witchcraft?"

"Yes"

"OK"

He stood there for a moment.  Again, he had failed to get a hysterical or angry reaction from me.  He was very confused and disappointed.

"It’s not evil devil worship you know."

"Yes I do.  It’s OK with me if you do whatever you like on your own to so long as you do no harm".

He sat down with a smile on his face this time.  Apparently I had passed this test.

Yet another day dawned and another test was presented.  He was trying to make some sort of talisman and asked me about it.  I told him that I was not going to discuss it with him since we are in school and he should be concentrated on school work.  He countered with…

"You know about this stuff don’t you?  You’ve done it."

Not being one to give my students too much information in any directions I just smiled and said "Back to work, please".

The next day he says "What are the five elements again?" 

Sigh.  This is getting tiresome.

"You do not get to test me" I told the little cherub.  "I get to test you."

He kept at me and kept at me….until I finally decided to humor him a bit.

"I will NOT tell you that the five elements are earth, air, fire, water and spirit, OK?"

Again he sat down.

Next day…..back at my desk again.

"I can steal people’s energy."

By this time I am at the end of my rope with this kid.  I leveled my best knowing-superior-yet-distant stare at him.

"You should be careful who you try this on.  You never know who you’re dealing with."

He blanched.

"Not you!  I would never try it on you!  You’re too powerful!  I can tell by your aura!!!"

And he went back to his seat.

I contained my laughter.

I am no witch.  (Although I have been called a word that rhymes with witch).  I have never been a devotee of witchcraft, although I have done some reading about this in much the same manner I have read about buddism, hinduism and metaphysics.

But now I have a new rep at school.  I am the teacher too powerful to mess with.  Oh my goodness – that was just too easy!!!

That covers sex and lies……..now for the Video Tapes.  Well, actually it’s not video – just still pics of our latest cafe endeavor (no – not the new hair cut – maybe later on that)…..  Doesn’t that Pumpkin Bread pudding look yummy???