October 12, 2003

Poopy, Poopier, Poopiest

Is that a good diagram of superlatives??? ugh.

Can you tell that I am about to be on a tear? If not, let me warn you: THERE’S A FREAKING RANT ABOUT TO SQUICHEL ITSELF ALL OVER THIS DIARY!

You have been forewarned. I have fulfilled my duty as a judicious diary hostess. Now move back and let me squichel!

I am tired. Have I mentioned that more than 400 times yet? I AM FREAKING TIRED! The first 9 week grading period is over. My grades are ready to be handed in…but I have to wait on other teachers to hand THEIRS in for my 6th graders…and they don’t want to actually do that – they just want to WHINE.

I got a message from Chickie today on my cell phone. I didn’t answer because I didn’t recognize the phone number. WELL that’s because she was calling from someone else’s phone. She had gotten hers taken away because she was using it in school when she shouldn’t have been. Only me coming to get it will get it returned. Great. So I guess her school just got themselves a new cell phone because I sure as hell am not gonna get a substitute teacher for MY classes so I can go in and retrieve her phone on THEIR schedule.

NOT ONLY THAT, but Chickie has backslid in the extreme on her grades. I get so flipping PO’d about that. She is not stupid – just lazy and more interested in doing ANYTHING but school work. So…if she blows this, she can just kiss graduating on time good-bye. Wonderful. HOW FLIPPING RIDICULOUS CAN ONE PERSON BE?

Granted, the SCHOOL didn’t bother to contact me to tell me there was a problem…AND the jerk-off counsellor actually TOLD Chickie today that she won’t call me because SHE is going to do what’s best for Chickie and her school schedule. Excuse me – BITCH – but what’s best for Chickie is consulting her mother when you decide to make potentially life-changing decisions for her. Nope – not fooling me for a second. What’s best for Chickie is not what’s at stake here. What’s at stake here is the big freaking bonus checks they get for meeting certain standards in their hoity-toity too-much-money school.

So now I have to deal with THAT. I DON’T WANT TO.

I don’t want to deal with anything. I don’t want to deal with Daddy or Chickie’s school’s stupidity or Chickie’s foolish choices or my jaded and vile-tempered 8th graders. I don’t want to deal with the lawn that hasn’t been mowed in weeks or with the fricking mildew gathering under my back porch. I don’t want to deal with the extra classes to get my teaching certificate. I don’t want to deal with Sis’s happy horseshit. She can have her dang crises on her own time – just leave me out of it! I don’t want to deal with the 132 inch deep film of hair that my short-haired non-shedding dog deposits on my hardwood floors daily. I don’t want to have to disinfect the front porch again because the cat has left me another dead fruit rat or the remnants of a digested bird. I don’t want to pay another damn bill. I don’t want to listen to another person whine. I don’t want to have to stand on my head and wiggle my tongue for my computer to work at all. I don’t want to deal with the fact that my son is, after all, a male. I just want to stand in the middle of the road and scream to the world……. I don’t care what you think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am tired. I am burned out. I have thousands of buckets of tears that will never be shed……and millions of hugs that will never be felt. I want to crawl into a hole and not come out until the world makes some sense. I want to be happier, not angrier…and all I can find is shades of red.

Tonight when I dropped Chickie off at work…she was crying and so was I – cause I had just barfed up buckets of bile all over her and myself. It wasn’t pretty. I feel like such a jerk. Just couldn’t help it – I knew what I was doing and I couldn’t shut my damn mouth. Oh good grief! And the shades of red roll by…….

aquaphoric

October 13, 2003

*great big HUGE fishie hugs* it will work out for you… just hang in there… maybe try some deep breaths or something… just to get you through. You’ve got a lot to deal with, but you can get through it.

Sugar Magnolia

I think you should take yourself to an isolated place and scream and scream and scream. Seriously. {{{Sunshine Wolf}}}….

Sunshine my poor Baby. If I could I would hug you and squeeze you and let you use my shoulder to have a good cry on. I’ve had times like this and you really do need a good howl (wolf or mother). Be strong – maybe take a rug outside on to the clothesline and just bash it with a stick until either its clean or you feel better. Pretend its that stupid councellor of Chickies. <> 🙂

tae's heartbeats

Oh dear, much ((hugs)) and now breathe. We all feel like this sometimes, I hope that the world starts to look better to you soon, and that people start to straighten up around there. 🙂

FallingDog

Oh my goodness! My heart’s going out to you right now! Schools are such a damned pain in the ass, I swear! I have parents complaining to me all the time about the way the schools handle the problems of their children, and it just makes my blood boil. I hope things look up for you soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My goodness!!! What an amazing array of notes!!! and I have trouble sleeping to. Now I wont sleep as I have too many notes to reply to…I have a friend with a good supply of small blue pills. Just 1 is enough to send you off for 14 hours….but he lives in Kuala Lumpur. Alas!!! Reading Shakespeare may help you sleep….one of his lesser plays perhaps? Troilius and Antony…sorry that was his gay

continued play that is highly secret. Apart from that one could walk and pretend to be sle?epwalking??Aha! I have the perfect book which is guaranteed to put anyone to sleep…Mein Kampf by Hitler. This book will definitely send you to sleep on paragraph two. Or the Telephone book. Many characters…but boring plot. Helpful Alexias..at your service

And may the shades of red squichel by…alexias

Willy & Wilma

{{{{{{{Sunshine Wolf}}}}}}}. Just imagine you are somewhere in the future looking back at this incident in your life. It’ll all work out

*~*Lady Moon*~*

Oh, Sunshine friend! WARMING hugs and healing love to you! Hope you are already better while reading this note, you are wonderful!

The Efficient Oak

ermentrude

oh, yes, the screaming would help. Sending you a massive British Hug (not a reserved one though!) and some calming influences from Glastonbury. Take care wolfie, look after yourself {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

RNBiker

October 14, 2003

Sounds like you are well overdue a vacation, hon! Maybe your tirade at Chickie will have doen some good? The fact that she sees how upset you are may help. I hope it does … Big Hugz

wow. . .not sure what to say to that.

Ainekate

Awwww hun! Sending my most kind and comforting thoughts, prayers and hugs your way. I so understand. We’ve all been there at some point. Hang in there hun. You should take some time to just let it all go & do something just for you. Pamper yourself for a few hours. You deserve it! *with big warm hugs & warm smile*

The Watcher

We still love you, anyway, dearest SW. And there’s a new short-short to read, in case that IS something you feel like doing.

BBe

It sounds like you need a vacation. Not in the cards, eh? I hear THAT. I was thinking about the phone. Hows about sending teacher a 5 spot and telling her to MAIL THE FRIGGIN PHONE because you have a job and a life that does not revolve around her schedule. Well, that’s about as helpful as I can be under the circumstances. I hope things lighten up for you soon. *thinking positive thoughts*

Mns

oh boy, you go girl! i can sooo relate these emotions with some of my own lately. only you express them so much better than i! LOL. truly, i’m sorry life is so stressful right now. overtired, overspent usually are the major contributing factors to these feelings. oh, and certain peabrains in our lives which, unfortunately, we can’t do a whole lot about other than deal with ’em.

warm thoughts sent for you and chickie.. i know what concern kids choices can be to a moms heart~

.imp.

October 16, 2003

You deserve some extra-quilted Charmin to go with all that poo. I’m sorry, chica. ~:P

Chrys.

October 22, 2003

((hugs)) They need to emphasize the sucky days more in the motherhood manuals, dont they..so we can be better prepared for shitty days like these;)