Ornamental Pondering

I thought I was done with Christmas entries but, as usual, I was challenged to take it one step farther by fellow diarists (yes, WantingMore and RoofOnFire, I mean you.)  They have both written beautiful entries about the special ornaments on their trees and the meanings associated with these ornaments.  As I read their evocative words (as is so often the case here in Diary Land) I became absorbed in my own world, my own drama.

I, too, have boxes and chests and cartons of ornaments laden with meaning.  I treasure these ornaments for 2 reasons, their physical appearance and the memories they hold for me.  My collection started with my first Christmas as a married woman when my parents gave me 2 boxes of the familiar and unusual glass ornaments that had hung on our family tree for as long as I could remember.  And for a long time, those were enough.

At some point we started, as most other couples do at some point, to build our own collection.  Ornaments we picked out together – one or two each year.  Then my son was born, and I changed my ornament focus.  Each year I picked out a special ornament just for him and placed it in his Christmas stocking.  The tradition of "ornamenting" the children continued with my daughter.

And so I was now building a collection of memories of my childhood, my married life and my life as a mother.  The Christmas tree each year held my life story in so many ways.

Every year I haul out the boxes and part the tissue paper packing and relive every memory that every ornament evokes.  All the ornaments hold wonderful memories and yet, more than a few also bring forth other emotions: a sadness, wistuflness, hopes and dreams of old that went by the wayside.

This year Chickie was impatient to get the tree up and so she put it up herself a few days before Thanksgiving.  She put the lights on and spread the tree skirt around the bottom, but she did no further decorating.  I took one look at my twinkling and nude tree, turned to Chickie and said….."Let’s have a totally blue and silver tree this year".

And so we did.

I went and bought some inexpensive blue and silver ornaments.  We bought wrapping paper ONLY in blues and silver shades.  I found some blue and silver bows that we could tie on some of the branches.  To fill out my blue and silver fantasy, I went to a wedding mid December – and the bride’s colors were blue and silver.  Who knew?  For guest favors they gave out glass snowflake ornaments decorated with blue glitter.  3 of those made their way onto my tree.  The groom begged me to take home some of the centerpieces and some of the lovely blue votive containers.  I complied.

So now I had a blue and silver tree AND candles and centerpieces to grace the coffee table and my grandmother’s old treadle sewing machine.  Blue and silver are truly my colors this year, OK?

And the tree is lovely and the house festive.  I have smiled every time I looked at my decorated living space.   

This was a move that was totally out of character for me.  I don’t do "Theme" trees.  I always admire them in stores, but they have never seemed quite right for my home.  This blue icicle, then, is quite a departure – one that came from (pardon the pun) out of the blue!  I have enjoyed it immensely and never given a moment’s thought to the "why" of my sudden change of direction.  Never, that is, until I started reading diary entries about treasured ornaments.

So now I’m sitting here pondering my choice.  Not only that, but I am pondering my pondering.  Sigh.  I guess that having too much ‘idle’ time (such as teachers do when it’s winter break) is tough on my pondering mechanisms.  I am pondering whether or not I am over-pondering!

I think the bottom line comes down to this.  I couldn’t face each and every one of those memories yet again this year.  Sometimes, you just have to move on.  While the old memories are great, new ones are waiting to be made and they have a greatness potential as well.  So surely, I should give them a chance at a fresh start, right?

I don’t know.  Maybe I’m over-analyzing a whim.  But I’ve found that when I follow my whims, good things result.  This Christmas was much lower on the stress meter for me.  I actually enjoyed most of it.  Maybe there’s no magic in those cheap and plain blue and silver ornaments….but maybe, just maybe, there is.

Oh, I saved all the other ornaments.  Don’t panic.  I’m not that rash (this time).  And I still have all the memories as well.  But for now, I think they’ll stay packed with love in their tissue paper world.  And next year……next year might be red and gold!  Now if I can just talk someone into getting married and using those colors……..