Ms. WolfYoure A Freak & Other Tales
One of our schools business partners is a used car dealership just around the corner. They like to offer free car washes on the weekend to get people to come in and they offer our students the chance to go wash the cars. They feed the kids and let them keep any tips they make. They also pay the school for each car washed. Not a bad deal. My principal asked me yesterday afternoon (nothing like last minute notice) to get together 10 students to work this weekend. He says that he will give my program the money.
This morning in first block (no we dont have classes or periods we have blocks. As in blocks of time, got the symbolism? Deep, huh?) I was recruiting. I was selling the free meal and tips. A student who actually participated in the last one wandered in and spoke up : Hey the BOSS is HOT! I immediately signed up 3 more boys.
Hoping to broaden the HOT appeal a little ..I told em like it is. OK, guys I know there are girls you want go see working at a carwash. And ladies, I KNOW there are some guys at this school you want to see in a wet t-shirt. So ..recruit them and get them over there to help!
The next thing I hear is ..Ms. Wolf youre a FREAK, arent you? I snorted into my ever present water bottle. (Slang explanation for the uninitiated: Freak means you like sex. To be called a freak can either be good or bad, depending on the circumstances and the inflection of the voice at the time) (er in this case it was a good thing, even if they were astonished they could say that about me! Lol) I brought my head out of my water bottle and replied, very judiciously. The fact that I comment on my observations of your thoughts and behaviors, does not make me a freak. It makes me observant and honest. They seemed to swallow that all right and I was prepared to move on .when the same student says
Ms. Wolf, are you married?
Not any more. says I.
We need to get you a boyfriend. Hey! You guys want to find Ms. Wolf a boyfriend?
Talk about water coming out your nose! Why did the idea of allowing a group of hip-hop 13 year olds to find me a boyfriend nearly have me in an epileptic fit?
I thanked them kindly and said I prefer my life without a boyfriend.
But you need to get remarried!
I already did that and got over it as well.
Then you need to get remarried AGAIN!
Whew. Extricating myself from this one was proving tough.
OK, guys, heres the bottom line. I live in a nice house all by myself, except for my daughter who is rarely home. I get to do WHATEVER I want, WHENEVER I want to do it, with (or without) WHOEVER I please and nobody can tell me yes, no or maybe.
There were a few moments of silence as this appeal of this place in life sunk in. I exhaled. Finally we were done. At least I think we were done. Thats the thing about these kids. Just when you think its safe to go into the water .
One more short story before I end this entry (well, I did say other TALES in the title). Halfway through 1st block one of my babies who has been missing for a while stuck his head in the door.
LOOK whos back Miss!!!!!
I called him in and asked if he is truly back. Yes, he is. Good. Now I heard you didnt want to come back here after all the trouble youve had. Why are you back? Understand – This is not a bad kid but a kid who has made some bad choices.
Because no other school would take me because of my discipline record.
I think I may have mentioned this before ..my heart goes out to these kids every minute of every day (yes – even on the high state of pisstivity days)
HAVING SAID THAT….They are so flipping DUMB sometimes! lol
Yesterday I gave two of my classes the option for a Fun Friday. Bring in anything you want to cook – and we’ll cook it. No questions, no written work – just cooking and eating.
Only one person in first block brought anything. She brough a can of beef-a-roni. Not exactly what I had in mind, but within the specs I had laid out. SO…
The rest of the class had a busy work vocabulary assignment. Immediately 3 boys who were absent yesterday protested. WE WEREN’T HERE. HOW COULD WE KNOW???
Ms. Wolf’s you-need-to-be-responsible-for your-own-actions side kicked in.
“And just how is that MY problem? Two of you CHOSE to come to school late yesterday and miss this class. That is YOUR choice, not mine. If you’d been here like you are supposed to be every day, then you would have known.”
One young man made the connection immediately. The two others continued to argue. Ultimately one gave up and did his work. The other…..got yet another zero for the day and spent the class period disrupting eveyone around him.
But back to the original premise – if your “boss” at work told you that you could play all day if you brought in the toys… wouldn’t you be hauling in the toys???? NOT complaining that you actually have to work on a work day?!!!
Ahhhhhhh…….the life of a single-celled brainless organism……but they’ll grow up some day. At least most of them will…and then they’ll reproduce……..and then………….
Man. There I go – snorting into my water bottle again!
ROTFL… Oh and I didn’t know that was what freak ment…
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Oh, MY! Yes, this took me right back to my seventh graders! LOL
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I’m glad you were able to open their eyes to another possibility than marry/have babies/divorce/marry/have babies/divorce… and so on. For most of them, that’s the only template for living that they’ll ever know. Really very sad, when you think about it.
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OMG! I’m imagining a steady parade of studly offerings paraded before your wondering eyes. LOL. You gotta’ be hooked up, ya know? Being a freak and all, ya know? This is going to be fun.
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I’m sorry to report that I have changed my front page picture. My apologies. You’ll probably hate it.
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I happen to know that you ARE a freak. 😉
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I wish that when I was that age I would have had a good role model that showed me something different than getting married and having kids as soon as possible out of high school. The only single women I knew were divorced, so that still reinforced the get married idea. ryn~ I will have to keep watch for a couple days and see if I can snap a pic through the window w/o getting caught.
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Oh. My. God. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! You FREAK, you!
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so you promote freakin to get kids to wash cars ? {smile} JOKING though, I will have a hard time not laughing next time i see the kids out there..
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it’s great that they trust you enough to open up with you.. it takes a real freak to do that! LOL ;o)
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Bravo! In a handful of moments you promoted community service, the benefits of getting paid, gave a sex talk, discussed choices and their consequences, and helped a kid in need. You did this while offering to feed them (way cool)and demonstrating a good health habit–drinking water. You’re goooood! The kid who needs you the most is usually the one who is the most disruptive and in your face!
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Wait….let’s not be so hasty. I want to see the boyfriend they pick for you. lol
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I would have brought in some cookie dough.
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This was funny…maybe you should lecture the class about why Miss Wolf is a Miss Wolf.
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*snorting at you snorting at them* 🙂 I see there is never a dull moment when you’re home away from home. It’s good to know that you’re up to the task. (and seem to be having fun with it)
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RYN: Yes, I think there was more to it as well. She can be very hyper-critical and she started criticising my actions before she even got to her desk to discover her pen was missing, and that I’d stuffed a paper towel in her shoe (It was April Fools Day). So we were off to a bad start yesterday. P.S. I can’t wear scent to work because she is allergic. I imagine Lysol will really set her off.
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These stories remind me of “Up the Down Staircase”. I love Lowe’s too. Yesterday, if I had fallen over dead amongst the candytuft and pear trees, I could have died a happy woman.
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Ya freak! With a wide grin…
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This was sooo ‘freakin’ funny.
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be careful that you don’t choke on all the water! LOL 🙂
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*Snorting with laughter* It boggles the mind to think of the ‘men’ they might hook you up with. LOL! Block huh? Seems to match the ‘prison’ style of the school if you know what I mean. 😀 *with a warm smile & hug*
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Be careful with that water bottle snorting! This was funny. And yes, I would have brought lots of food and we would have made all sorts of wonderful food. Silly Junior High kids. *Shakes head*
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At least hope you get to see some pictures before they haul in the real thing!
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ryn: You’re right. My grandmother’s fresh vision of my world taught me about point of view in a way nothing else could have at the time. She was from a tiny crossroads on the edge of a wilderness and driving under a river to a foreign country was an exotic thing for her to do. Now that I think of it, how did they even build that tunnel? I’m going to have to look that up!
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The Detroit – Windsor Tunnel is the only vehicular international sub aqueous border crossing in the world. It has been recognized as one of the great engineering wonders of the world and is the second busiest crossing between the United States and Canada. Now that’s exotic!
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RYN: I’m glad they are there too. I wish we never needed them again. Someday…
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Do stop by soon. With a smile…
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I truly enjoy how your responses to what the kids say to you, for instance Freak, teaches them how to respond to similar things said to them as well. Clearcut, empowered, and inarguable. And, that ever present subject, sex, does not have to be valued above our freedoms. While the lack of warm body is not always so easy to deal with. 🙂
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Those kids are so lucky to have you for a teacher. I love your sense of humor. I love these student entries. Thanks for educating me about the definitions of “freak”.
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Come work here, we could be the Mama English department. Please????? my students are always wanting to know why I have never married. Why I have never had kids. I tell them because I have them. That shuts them up but sometimes one or two say “but you haven’t been teaching that long.” ShUT UP KID!!! lol Well Freak here does not mean sexual, at least not yet. usually buzz terms work their way west.
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I rather hear the students trying to find you a boyfriend than something to ventilate you with.
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I laughed during this and also thought how great it is to have a teacher that can respond to the kids they way you do.
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LOL!!!!! Now about the Scotsman in the kilt… are you sure you don’t want a boyfriend *evil grin*
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