July 30, 2000

Letting Off Some Steam

Enough is enough. Ive had it. I am officially throwing in the towel. Bingo! Its been thrown and I am done fighting this fight.

At the end of the school year my daughter Chickies dad called and wanted to know when she could come visit over the summer. I told him which week she was going to my sisters and that he could have her the entire rest of the summer. I didnt get another phone call from him for 6 weeks. Then he wanted to re-check her schedule. I repeated myself, telling him that he could have her that very day for the rest of the summer. He hung up.

I have not seen my son in a few weeks and I knew that he didnt really want to drive all the way here this weekend, so I decided to kill two birds with one stone. I called son how about if Mom visits you? Cool. I called Chickies dad I am coming your way, how about if I drop Chickie off and you can bring her home next weekend? Uh..OK.

Bright and early Saturday morning, off we go. As usual, Chickie slept most of the drive and Blossom panted in her doggie carrier in the back seat. I woke Chickie up just as we were pulling into her dads town. She wanted to go see her brother first. Sigh. OK. So off we went to Young Studs house. Once there we saw pictures and movies of his trip to Belize and I turned 32 shades distinct of green. Yes, Winifred, Id have done your froggie greens proud! We talked a bit and then I deposited Chickie back at her dads.

Young Stud and I enjoyed the afternoon and evening. In the morning I woke him up (bouncing on his bed moms are entitled to a few eccentricities) and went to breakfast. I was just putting my things in the car when Chickie called. She was bored and her dad suggested that she might want to go home with me rather than stay a week. She hadnt even been at her dads house for 24 little hours yet and he was trying to send her home.

I drove back by Chickies dads on my way out of town. Out he comes with the litany rolling off his tongue before I even have my window rolled down. Shes really bouncing off the walls. One of her friends cant do anything and she cant get hold of the others. She looks like shes coming off a bad drunk. I have to work all week. Shes already bored. What will she do all week stuck in the house with nothing to do all day? Theres gonna be a big drug bust at my girlfriends work tomorrow and something bad may happen here. Chickie cant use the phone because of that. Maybe we can do something at Christmas. Things dont always work out the way wed like. Really Chickie, I wont be mad if you go home now and on and on ad nauseum.

What an irresponsible boor! What an insufferable prig! What an.ASS!!!!

So, Chickie is back home with me. I called Young Stud to tell him not to bother to try and do something with his sister later in the week since she was back home with me. Hes a good brother, ya know? He immediately made the offer to let her stay with him one week before school starts. She may still be bored during the day, but he promises to feed her food shell actually eat (that doesnt happen at dads house eitherdont let me start on that tangent!) and to do things with her after he gets off work play soccer with her, take her fishing, etc. I told Chickie of Young Studs offer. Im not sure whether shell take him up on it or notbut she sure was tickled pink that he offered.

OK. I have it out of my system now. Its been boiling since I drove all the way back without saying a single word about it. Chickie doesnt need me underlining the fact that her dad is a butt. Ive vented. Chickie is, ultimately, better off without the influence of her dad I suppose, if thats the way hes going to be with her. I just hate to see her disappointed by someone she loves and who, by the way, ought to be able to show he loves her back.

I guess the saying is true.anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy. To all you daddies out there – I salute you.

I’ve told you once, I’ll tell you again…you’re not alone. Glad you vented. Damned shame the kids get their noses rubbed in the s*** their fathers create. Saluting the daddies, right along with you!

Sunshine…me too…I salute the daddy’s! I sure do. I know this frustration only too well. How quickly some of ’em (the non-custodial one) can lose that bond with their children after the parents divorce.

Oh man… what a bummer. You’re absolutely right about fathers and daddies! Hope the rest of the summer goes well. BTW, that was an OUTSTANDING vent! Good for you.

Sounds like Younng Stud is a better daddy than her father! Hugz

Good vent! Well deserved.

BlueEyes

July 31, 2000

Yes, indeed, that was a good vent. Now I understand why you sent me the email you did.

darkart

July 31, 2000

Easy to be a mother, that much more difficult to be a mummy, but me thinks that you’re already a great mummy!!

Mns

July 31, 2000

oh geez, so sorry to hear about the episode with daughter and her dad. very sad. “young stud”? hehehe… love that name… he sounds like a treasure 😉

Ugh! How awful. I hate ex-husbands! Why are some of them so irresponsible? I really feel your pain. Can Chickie come visit us? We’ll find plenty for her to do here in AZ. Glad you got to see Stud. 🙂

In answer to your question about the Tribune article…if it ever get’s published….give me a shout at my addy Boopster_od@Hotmail.com sometime. STay in touch.

He should have told you before you made the trip – but of course, you already knew that! I’m sorry for your daughters disappointment.

I am grateful every single day because my (Thank GOD) ex-brother-in-law is out of my niece’s and nephew’s lives. They are so much better off without his influence. He has hurt them enough.

I hope things work out well and that Chickie goes to stay with her brother. I think they will have a blast!

You are one terrific mom, SW! What a jerk Chickie’s dad is; luckily she’s got you to balance it all out.

oh the memories 🙁 vent all you need to . as you can see you are not alone . i personally feel there is a special place in “hell” for F…athers !

Torin Invanusson

July 31, 2000

I know a young woman of 19 who refers to her father as her ‘sperm donor’. Ah well. These men are such wastes of time and energy. Hooray for Young Stud, though. With a warm smile for you…

yes indeed, jumping on the bed, something every mom should do. a real dad is someone special, that’s for sure. so is a mom who cares when there isn’t one.

don’t be surprised if you get a copy from your son of Ted arnold’s “No More JUmping on the BEd” for christmas or Chauunaka. 🙂 *Grin* Sorry the father was being such a dork, sorry for you and her. Sheesh!

Albany

July 31, 2000

Hope your dad enjoys The War Years.

SWolf – I agree with you my fathers a great daddy – which is why I’m brave enough to move home with him and mom (he’ll save me when the need arises). Has for finding yrself a PM Facilitator….

..You advertise SW, you advertise. And of course you offer a whole bundle of money and stuff – that’s always a good beginning 🙂

Good for you SW. Chickie is lucky to have you for a strong and positive role model. 🙂

I’m so glad you waited to vent here… What’s said to Chickie must be said by her ‘father’… and she is old enough to hear it loud and clear! Be strong & well SW… thinking of you…

thanks for sharing this.. it is obvious that he is a very confused man…like most. He has no idea of parenting. And he will miss out in the long run. Silly bugger.

There’s gonna be a drug bust where his girlfriend works?? What the hell is she, maid at a crack house?? Chickie’s better off with yoo. Go ahead. Vent!! 🙂 Love + Hugs,

ACK! Turd Alert! Better us than Chickie. Oy. ~:P

Oh, the problems of a split household! I understand them well. When our partner is not on the same wave-length, it is sometimes better to travel on alone or with a more suitable companion.

Sad that we make these life-binding relationship decisions when we are often too young and naive to know what life is about.

Yup..done said it before and i’ll say it again…alot of men are asses..but for the good ones out there..i add my salute also!

You are awesome SW. You have more cajones than your ex and I hope your kids appreciate that. It’s a pity our hormones rule before our brains get a chance but necessary for the species to survive.

A bunch of roses to the parents who stand by their children. It can’t be easy, especially because it takes maturity before the kids realize which parent’s really ‘rock’. You rock SW!

PS I hope you do visit us. We will have a student for a year but then we are going to keep the little room for friends. Good people are always welcome. Will tell you when we get it done. Meeting nice people en route.

He’ll get his Sunshine, one day there will be a beautiful adult young woman out there and he won’t even know who she is and what he missed out on and she won’t want to be bothered letting him know.

Tuppence pretty much said what I was thinking. So I’ll sit here and nod sagely. Hugs, dear.

I’m sorry about Chickie’s father. It must be hard on her. I cringe at the whole situation. It’s all too familiar.

Thanks for the visit, Sunshine. May your vehicle always move progressively through those traffic jams.

Jewish, Methodist, Catholic…. that makes you unique!

Torin Invanusson

August 2, 2000

I have just this moment released the next entry, Sunshine. Just so you know. With a grin…

thanks for your sweet words! this is hard for your girlie. my bf is a daddy; it’s his girl’s mom that is indifferent. sad for any child but they’re blessed with one good parent at least. cheers,

Get that towel wet and roll it in a ball and throw it at him

thanks for your sweet notes, and hang in there, Sunshine…I just wish you could have had the little break from everybody but yourself, cause God knows, that really helps out every once in a while…