August 8, 2003

It Has Started

Where to begin? What to say? These last few days have been unlike anything I have ever experienced in my life! I cannot think where to begin, and I KNOW I’ll never be able to fit it all into a single entry!

My only SEVERE bout of pisstivity thus far occurred during pre-planning. My area supervisor came to help me sort out my curriculum and lesson plans since I had been unable to attend the district training. We spent an entire afternoon working on the framework and it was good! I then spent the entire next morning fleshing out the specific lesson plans. By noon I was feeling quite proud of myself!

Then (and you KNEW there would be a “then”, didn’t you?) she called back and said OOPSIE. Seems her boss didn’t like what she told me, so we’d have to change it all. 2 days before school started…after wasting what amounted to an entire day of my time. I was a little less than gracious about that, I suppose. I think my exact words were something like, “You have GOT to be kidding! I’ve just wasted all this time for what?! And you think I’m going to change everything to suit you NOW??!!! Well now isn’t THAT just the epitomy of arrogance!? By the way…did you vote FOR Jeb Bush for governor? Why? Because he hates making things easier on teachers, too… AFTER we got straight AGAIN…she has neglected to call me and see how I am doing. Too bad. I really wish she would – I was so getting to enjoy our little chats.

All too soon, pre-planning was over and in came the kids. Wow! Look at ’em all!!! And they’re EVERYWHERE!!!

The 6th graders are so cute. It’s their first year in a new school. A new and more grown up school. They are scared shitless! Every one of them has the wide-eyed look of terror that a deer caught in the headlights has as they wander up and down the halls trying to figure out where to go next.

The 7th graders are a little more sure of themselves. They’ve all been this route before. And they’re practically grown up, after all. They swagger a little as they travel the halls and talk just a little too loud.

And the 8th graders – the darling “mature” students. They walk at quarter speed, barely picking up their feet and rarely smiling. They are MUCH too cool (and more than a tiny bit jaded) to smile – or to make eye contact with a *shudder* TEACHER.

Never fear – I have them in the palm of my hand. (make a notation of that for the next book of “FAMOUS LAST WORDS” that may be published).

Day One, as we went over classroom rules and procedures and the syllabus – I let them make microwave popcorn and eat it to their heart’s content as they reviewed and wrote and questioned. See? Day ONE and we’re already cooking and eating!! Aren’t I just the most wonderful teacher you’ve ever had? (Please try to envision me coyly batting my eyelashes here…)

Day Two, I explained to them that I do not give homework. Heh! Top THAT all you other teachers!!! Hell – they’re not gonna do it anyway, so why frustrate everyone with it? Of course, they still have to study for tests – but if “I” don’t call that homework, they won’t catch on. PLUS, anyone who actually raised their hand and volunteered to answer my question, received a large Tootsie Roll for a correct answer. I may have to change my name from Ms. Wolf to Ms. Bribery.

I stand in the hall monitoring the students as they change classes. I am having a ball with this!

“Is that gum in your mouth? It IS? Oh my goodness, how did that happen? Who snuck that into your mouth? You really need to be more careful!! Here’s the trash can…”

“That’s not food which you aren’t supposed to have in the hallways between classes at all is it? You’re only going to PE? Well – are you in the hall? Yes. Are you between classes? Yes. Is that food? Yes. I see. Here’s the trash can…”

“Honey – if you have to hold your pants up when you walk, they’re just WAY too big. Let me get you a belt…”

“Good Morning, Sunshine! You only have 5 minutes between classes. Did you know you actually have to pick your feet UP to make forward progess in any meaningful way??”

“Good afternoon! Have a great weekend! Home is that way – head right on out that door. I know you’re gonna miss us, but we’ll be here on Monday! No – turn around and go back that way – THAT way is the way home. Go home. Now.”

That’s just a taste – I really have to start writing more regularly, cause this is all just too rich. The kids – are wonderful. Even the ones I want to strangle! (already – can you believe it?)

This is gonna be some fun! Next week – cooking! Get ready, FD, cause your chance to give me the ultimate in cooking harassment is soon to arrive!

little charmers all, aren’t they? 😉

Way to go! Popcorn and Tootsie Rolls! Aren’t you glad to have them while they’re still (some of them) CUTE, before all that super-jaded high-school attitude sets in? 😀

They started school already? Man i’m glad I live in MI. Here’s a tip. Change the kind of candy every once in a while. I HATE tootsie rolls, and hate raising my hand, and certainly would not be motivated to do so for a nasty candy. However… jolly ranchers or laffy taffys and MMMMM *drools* Good luck with the kids, and yes! right more! does this job mean you’re feeling all better? 😀

I can’t get over how early school starts nowadays, either. (Careful — Jeb might put home ec on the FCAT….) Maybe it’s being in the boonies with less pollution, but the heat & humidity here is still nowhere near as oppressive as it had been in Boston — that is, when Boston had hot summers. After the winter and spring up there, though, I can’t begrudge them the coolth they’re enjoying now.

Costco has 13 0z bargain bags of mini Snickers and Milky Way bars (5.6 grams) that would fit well with the bribery scheme. I think the kids are going to like your classes, Sunshine! Better not let boss lady know about it.

You’re in for some fun, it seems. RYN re R: Yes, things will change, but as long as our friendship stays solid, I’m good. R is a remarkably special person whom I would hate to lose. With a warm smile…T, the U

ahahaha… did i mention teacher of the year award? candy? no homework? the kids will LOVE you! kids are a trip, i look forward to the next installment of life in the classroom~

Ugh! I HATE gum!

Wow! I wish I had a teacher like you when I was in high school. You’re gonna be great, Sunshine! I just can’t beleive how early you guys start school down there. Ours doesn’t start until after Labour Day. Please come back & write more about things are going for you. Have fun! *with a wide smile & a big hug*

Pisstivity??? A new word. I have a Websters and search in vain! Congratulatios on new words coined. Wish I could do it wistful Thank you for your many notes. I thought I had become Ethelred the unread. Alone in the wilds of Fod . It all seems to have changed since the…good old days of a year ago…sigh! But some wonderful ones are still around ….Alexias

Charmers, LOL! ? YEH, great attitude. School start this early? Jihaa, you rock and ‘roll (:)!!!!! THANK YA for the nice and sweet comment! It is TOUGH! 🙂 Love and nice to see you again,

I.LOVE.IT! I soooo hope you do write more about this! Already I’ve got a nice new word to throw around. Pisstivitally yours, ~:)

Yo, Teach! I gotta pee! Hahahahaha! Btw, it’s been me who has been sending you the jokes. Didn’t know if you knew my married name or not. Did you like the nun joke?

Dropping in on an actual post-entry stroll. With a smile…

*guffaw* A student’s worse nightmare!! A real true blue nice teacher!! =)

They’re gonna love you, and you’re gonna kick ass as a home ec teacher!

You go, Teach!!!! I loved “getting the skinny” on your first days. ***Big grin***

Pssst, hey Courtney! You know that new teacher, Ms. Woof or Wolf or whatever the *&^#@%! her name is? I have an idea. Let’s make her really mad in class today, okay? She’s new so that means she’s stupid. She doesn’t even know who we are yet, so let’s screw around in class today and see if she gets pissed! *snicker*giggle* Hand me that note, you! Note? What note? I’m innocent!

wow. sounds like ur having a blast!

Oh yes, you need to write more often. This is going to be fun for all of us. 🙂 But I can’t believe school has started already!!! What happened to summer vacation?!?

wait, you have a microwave, i thought this was to all be computer crap, did they change their tiny cranial capacitors? and nah, i aint never gonna be as skinny as art imp, don’t you worry. 🙂 *grin* there are plenty of inches to pinches, but i can wear my turquoise cotton bra without it getting to tight in a few hours. sad for toad, but my black ones are getting too big.

oh yea, why the heck do you care if they chew gum? 🙂 I made my neighbor mad because i said to her with the kids standing there (who watch all sorts of sex commercials etc and talk about it with me) i don’t care if they chew gum if they aren’t doing drugs or having sex. She has a ban on the word, apparently told the kids “I can’t believe she said that freakin word.” Hope they don’t get pregnant

cuz the little one who is ten stuffs her shirts and runs around the house half naked often, and the 12 year old has a boyfriendhers and walks around the house touching herself and more during “movies” with others in the room, and mom has an out of town half live in boyfriend now so i think they need to talk about S oh my e, can we face it x! 🙂 SIgh.

A big joyful – ‘I’m so proud of you’ hug. You did it – first day and week is over – Well done. Ok just one more squeeze because I can’t resist. 😉

Glad you are still out there spreading the sunshine my friend.

Sounds like you’re having a ball honey! hehe and no time to play with Torin? Tut-tut! LOL Name change due to someone pinching my pesudonym while I was on subscriptive duties! How rude! Hugz(Harley)

I remember what it was like to be a 6th through 8th grader…I loved the description. Has’nt changed a bit!

I think both you and your students are in for a year of great learning and many surprises….and as Mary Poppins said “a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down”…so keeps those snickers coming… Smiles,