October 31, 2002

Insert Appropriately Witty Title Here

There’s no pleasing some people. And guess what? I am one of those people! hehe

I rushed home last night to get ready for trick-or-treaters. I love looking at the little cutie-pies in their costumes. This whole Halloween thing is such fun for them and their little scary faces just glow (eerily in some cases). AND I love looking out at the parents hovering in the background at the end of the driveway because I remember YEARS and YEARS and YEARS of doing just that…and getting sore feet traversing block after block (some years in the SNOW for pity’s sake!)…and I don’t have to do it any more! Nenny-nenny-boo-boo!!!!

I turned on the slime green lights in the window and made sure the ghost was securely fastened over the porch light. I lit my witch hat luminaries and placed the jack-o-lantern on the porch. (It’s so cute – quite Martha Stewart – lol. Carved from the BOTTOM, not the top – and decorated by a kitty, not a goofy face). Checked the candy supply. Yep – all is well – all 200 pounds of it was sitting right there in a rather large bowl.

Poor Blossom had to go into the back yard. Kids think she’s cute and want to pet her when she comes to the door with me. Blossom thinks the kids are cute and wants to eat them. Not a good combination. Leads to blood-curdling screams and dripping blood which somehow do not endear me to the neighbors, even though it IS Halloween.

So there I am – all ready and waiting. And it’s 5:30. The early trick-or-treaters should be arriving soon, right? No. 6:00 and I still have all my candy (in one form or another – I’d eaten some of it by then….but technically I still “had” it). 6:30 – the doorbell rings. No – I don’t have a doorbell. What WAS that?

TRICKORTREAT bangbangbang on the door.

So I grab up my candy bowl and run to the door. Deep breath. I don’t want to appear desperate or anxious. Geeze – this is worse than a blind date! I open the door…and there are 20 midget-sized goblins on my front porch. There were kitties and witches and whatchamacallits. The scariest ones were the little princesses. All that ‘happily ever after’ stuff floating in the air…..

Then they were gone!

And then there were more. They were so cute. One little tiny boy whispered to me “I’m not going home!”. Hehe – why would he? He was wandering from place to place getting CANDY! Betcha home is nowhere near that much fun! lol

And then I was pretty sure it was over. So I sat down and let Blossom back in the house. She was a happy puppy! But…more knocks on the door. I got up and passed out some more candy.

Ten minutes later – more knocks! I was grumbling. What the hell?! Don’t these parents have any sense?! Why are those kids still out? Don’t they have school tomorrow? I tossed candy out the door.

Ten more minutes – more knocks! All right. This is serious. I am tired of their cute little candy grubbing faces. They’re probably trampling all over my yard. Serve em right if I LET Blossom out on em…. I THREW candy at them and Blossom growled.

Next year I think I’m putting up a sign.

HALLOWEEN RULES:

Only one child at a time at the door. Too many kids at once crowding my door at once doesn’t let me properly appreciate your costume. (Plus you get more candy if you come alone!)
The candy window of opportunity at this house is narrow. Please arrive promptly between the hours of 6:00 p.m. and 7:30 p.m.
Everyone who comes to this door expecting candy should also come prepared to prime the candy pump by bringing appropriate candy to bribe the homeowner with. (Carmels and GOOD chocolate only please).
In election years, extra candy is given to any child delivering campaign signs for republican candidates which they have stolen from people’s yards. A LOT of extra candy.

There. I think that’ll do it. Now I gotta go see just how much candy is left and decide what to do with it (right – like THAT’s going to be a problem!)

darkart

November 1, 2002

*grin* Betcha your house gets toilet papered when you put up that sign next year. 😉 But admit it sunshine, I bet you enjoyed yourself immensely.

LMAO at the stolen signs for GOP candidates!!!!! Why didn’t I think of that….. You’re hilarious! Not only would I put up a sign if I were you next year, you could also intimidate the hell out of the kids by analyzing why they chose their costume. At least, that’s what I’d do: You’re dressed up as a witch? (Cont’d)

Your costume belies the patriarchal stereotype of a witch as a shrew, when in reality, witches are strong, spiritual women who have respect for the earth and the matriarchal traditions, lost to us because of male domination . . . I guarantee you, bye-bye trick-or-treaters!

Torin Invanusson

November 1, 2002

I settled for scaring them with my talking candy dish. With a grin…

lifeisuhmistury

November 1, 2002

I’m coming to Florida for halloween next year just so I can drive ya buggy! *ROFL* Hysterical….gosh I love your diary! Oh, and I read about your costume….*ROFLMSAO* Especially like the “wallet”…hehehehe! LOTS of candy for stolen GOP signs…..ROFLMSAO…oh no, I’m laughing and I can’t get up! Have a good weekend, Hey, hey…. Love ya, Hey, Hey….hehehe….we are so good at being bad!!!

I must say, I really enjoyed this entry. I actually had a great laugh, so thank you for that..it was much needed. I like the idea of the “Rules” although most kids can’t or won’t read them, they need visuals. Sounds like you had a great night. Thanks for the laugh ;o)

lifeisuhmistury

November 1, 2002

Okay, okay…..sheeezzzzzz! *Rolls eyes* How about if I stand near the porch in costume and explain the trick or treat rules at the Wolfie household? ***ROFL*** And yes, I can stand by a window in the sunshine and get warmed by those marvelous rays… I just don’t want to step outside and blow the damn illusion! Muwahahahaha!

RYN: What’s the idea passing me an empty bottle??? 😉 Uncle Gnome

Luna

November 1, 2002

I love the “extra candy for GOP signs” idea. 🙂 I NEVER get trick-or-treaters at my house, so I went over to Sam’s last night to share in his goblins and ghouls and, by the time I arrived (7:45 or so) they had all disappeared. Dammit. So, we had sex.

too much of a good thing eh? ::padding off::

aquaphoric

November 1, 2002

Well, i think it’s funny that Blossom thinks the kids are “sweet” hehe. What were the official trick-or-treat times in your area? ours were 5:00-8:00 here. And I’m glad it’s you that has all of that candy and not me… I’d be so plump by now… heh… I gave most of mine away. Just kept the good stuff. Laffy Taffys and plain hershey bars. yummmmy!

aquaphoric

November 1, 2002

RYN: I would have gladly traded with you. I’m allergic to peanuts, so I can’t eat most of the chocolate stuff anyways.

Knock, knock knock. 🙂

Happy Halloween! 🙂

love those rules, I’ll have to remember them! I did have a friend that had somebody on their block going door to door and passing out candy! LOL 🙂

Ainekate

November 1, 2002

God you’re a hoot! Sounds like you had a pretty good Halloween. We didn’t get too many kiddies this year. The cold & rain didn’t help I guess. Lots of goodies left over but the nephews will take care of that problem, heh. *hugs*

Oh yeah…trick or treat is a hoot until the pack of 16-year-olds dressed as candy grubbing slackers arrive with their pillow cases open. GAH! Next year I’ll be happily swigging a brew as I wrap up Ex-Lax squares for the special boys and girls. ~:D ArtImp, nsi

Is that really entering into the “spirit” of things, SW? I htought you good ol’ Americans were up for things like that? We had some older “kids” turn up at the door with no costumes, expecting candy. I said you can’t be bothered to dress up, I can’t be bothered to treat ya…and promptly soaked them with a water pistol! LOLOL Harley, nsi!

Torin Invanusson

November 2, 2002

Entry number three, as desired. With a smile…

Nectar

November 2, 2002

we have very little trick and treating here and a twelve year old was attacked the other night while out and about. The police are angry that parents are sending children out unsupervised…how do your country do that type of thing? are they supervised? Huggles you warmly

Glad you had such a good time. LMAO!! I had kids start at 5:30. After going though 250 treats I turned off the lights just after 8. So no left overs at my house and my brats are guarding their own loot!!! BRATS. ~hugs~

Mns

November 2, 2002

hehe… cute! when my kids were little we’d usually go out between 6:30-8:30. i heard many comments this year about how few trick or treaters there were out there, so it wasn’t just me. perhaps neighborhoods go through changes or maybe this year there were more alternative activities going on. i dunno. posted at my pic place the little one i got to go out with this year. his first time out..fun!

Good play-by-play report of your Halloween ’02, SW. It’s a great holiday…my favorite. No “shoulds”, it’s one time of the year you can let go and do/be whatever you want. We should make it a month-long event….give everyone the time off work (paid, of course). I wonder if I could get elected if I ran on that platform?-Jeff

ryn: awww thanks for the note!! lol i just got around to noting back everyone! and updating a coupla entries!! anyways, oddly enough..we have a “Blossom” too! except mine is an “Odie!” hehe who knows..maybe they are related..cute names..but lethal dogs! hahaha =) yes!! the sign idea is masterful! def. post it up! if nothin else, the parents of next year will get a kick out of it! =) have a goodun!

*chuckle*

Willy & Wilma

November 4, 2002

You really had a mob of Halloween trick or treaters! Only had 27 here. Last year it was 36. Am at the cul-de-sac of a 2 block up hill country road. Been trying many years to entice trick or treaters up here with king size candy bars.

ermentrude

November 4, 2002

Good rules! We never get trick or treaters here. Guess they’re too lazy to go up the stairs to our flat!!! I got my pumpkin carved on the table though… smallest in the shop (carved from the top!)

I’m with you…excited and stuff when the little “trick or treaters” come to the door….however, in todays world…kids don’t wanna climb 3 flights of stairs to get here..Go figure! *laughs*….and I dunno why…its not like I had a “Blossom” here ready to eat them up!…Although my cats been known to be freakish! *giggles* Not all “princesses” are scary!! (winks) Hugs and Loves!