Horse Tales Too– M & A Ride

I was basking in the glory of my successful venture into being a cowhand. Yessirree bob, I was it! I am cowgirl, hear me yee haw! Kelly was basking as well. Because she had made me look so good I spent loads of extra time grooming her, talking to her and riding her. We got to know each other better. I found that I didn’t even need the reins, Kelly would react instantly to leg signals. Now I REALLY looked like a goddess on horseback to my kids! Look kids! NO HANDS!!!!

M was enamored with Kelly. She would go out to the fence and wait for Kelly to come over. Then she would angle her head in Kelly’s direction in hopes that the horse would give her another pony tale ride. I taught M how to feed Kelly carrots and apples without losing any of her fingers in the process. That was all fine, but M wanted to ride! I was a little hesitant because Kelly had a riding ritual that must be obeyed.

The first 10 minutes of riding Kelly was a contest. You had to prove that you were a capable rider. Once that was established, Kelly was good as gold and docile as a lamb. That first 10 minutes could be a doozy though! One day after riding Kelly for a while I allowed M up in the saddle with me. Kelly turned her head and eyeballed us both as if to say “You’re not putting anything over on me, you know”, and then we had a pleasant ride. Soon M tired of sitting with me and wanted to ride on her own. I got down and led Kelly around while M held the saddle horn and grinned. She was the queen of the world sitting up there on the back of that huge horse.

This was too much for A. He, after all, was both older than M and a male. If his baby sister could do it, it must be easy. He wanted to learn to ride. None of that buddy riding stuff for him though. He could do it all on his own, thank you very much. We got him mounted up. He was a bit nervous, for all his air of bravado, and I am sure Kelly sensed this. Still, they got along well for a bit. I was teaching A how to “steer” the horse, how to sit, how to hold his legs and feet. Kelly participated good naturedly but every once in a while would shoot me a “You’ve got to be kidding” look.

A got a bit heady with his success so far and a bit overwhelmed by early teen onset testosterone. He wanted to go out in the BIG field. Yes, he was sure….did I think he couldn’t do it? Hah! OK. Out into the big field he went. Too late I noticed that the cattle were coming up from the river.

Let me preface this next part by saying that I had also instructed A how to fall off the horse, and how to move with her if she should buck or rear. Lean into her neck if she rears and back towards her rear if she kicks. Understand? Oh yes, he understood.

Kelly saw the big red bull. The big red bull saw Kelly. A was happily oblivious. I told A it was time to bring the horse back to the barn. He agreed and tried to point Kelly in the proper direction. Problem. Kelly knew the barn was to the left and the bull was behind her. She wanted to go either to the left or behind her. The gate to the field was to the right. Do the calculations….right is neither left nor behind. Horses don’t understand that sometimes you gotta go right to get left. Kelly fidgeted as A tried to turn her. I (standing on the other side of the fence, mind you) shouted encouragement and instructions. “Come on A! She’ll go, just show her you’re in charge! Be firm! Don’t be afraid! Tighten up the reins a bit! Kick her, don’t nudge her!”

All my words of wisdom were for naught. Kelly got more stubborn and confused while A got frustrated and a little afraid. “Ma” he said “I don’t want to do this any more”. I am not big on quitting so I encouraged him a little more. “Come on – you can do it. Just get her headed towards the gate.”

The word gate had no sooner left my mouth than Kelly decided she’d had enough of this inexperienced boy’s tentative direction. Her front legs went up…..way up. A, of course, totally forgot which way to lean and his butt left the saddle. I could see daylight between his rear and the saddle. He hung on for dear life as I called out “Lean Forward!!!!” The next thing out of his mouth was a mother/son milestone. It was the first and only time my sweet boy cussed his momma. “F%&@ YOU MAAAA!!!!!”

Maybe it was the language, or maybe it was the sight of me finally climbing the fence, but Kelly stopped dead in her tracks and waited. A was off her back in a New York minute, white as a sheet. I had him lead Kelly back to the barn. Off they went, Kelly with head held high and A with shaky knees. I watched through the tears streaming down my face as I laughed until my sides hurt.

Later I asked A what it was he’d yelled at me because I hadn’t understood him. He mumbled something about it being nothing and he didn’t remember anyway. Oh. I asked if he had enjoyed riding. “It was OK”. Great I said……now when would you like to ride again?

My son has never put his butt in a saddle again. Guess Momma’s not the only city slicker in the family.