Granny, Grandma, Grandmother, Nana….
We had a lot of interesting conversation the other night at Hooters (do the words CONVERSATION and HOOTERS even belong in the same sentence?)
Aside from the Carlos incident one entry back…A couple of the younger teachers were referring to a male teacher who wasn’t present. They were complimenting him on looking good for his age. He is, after all, kind of old. He’s 50!
All right. Really. I try not to discuss age because – truly – it is just a number. But when they said OLD and 50 together – I had to raise an eyebrow.
"Excuse me – did you say 50 is old? Ahem. I’d watch that if I were you…"
"But, Ms Wolf, you’re not 50! You’re late 30s or just 40. You can’t be older than that!"
When I could control my facial muscles enough to get the grin off my face, I told them that 40 was a good age to consider me. Please….consider 40 seriously. LOL
A bit later I said something about my son and was asked how old he was. 27 I replied. One of the young men spoke up – er, I’m younger than your son. Well now, since he’s a math teacher, I’m pretty sure he did the numbers – and 40 is out the window again. Ah well. Still, it was a nice complement while it lasted!
Now here’s where I tie into my title. That whole exchange got me to thinking about Grandmothers. Mine specifically, and the whole kit and kaboodle in general.
Grandma #1 was – how to put this delicately – eccentric. She was an amazing cook – but would NEVER give you a recipe intact. Mysteriously she always left something out. She would get my dad to stop on the side of the road near orange groves so she could jump the fence and pick oranges – even when a roadside stand was just yards away. She was a seamstress – she would put her hands around your waist, on your shoulders and hips…and then sit down and make a stunning outfit – no pattern, no measurements – just what she felt. Once she told Grandma #2…"This is a wonderful apple pie! The best I’ve ever eaten…..but I’ll tell you how to make it better…..". She loved to play cards and taught me the joys of gin rummy.
Grandma #2 – I cannot begin to do her justice. She was the most amazing woman I’ve ever known. She taught me the meaning of unconditional love. She lived 102 amazing years, raising 3 children, losing one to scarlet fever, and helping to raise me. She lived with us from the time I was born. She was there for me – and I tried to be there for her. She was my original role model – and still is today (although I often fall short of the mark!)
And now I am about to enter into the circle of elders and become a grandmother myself. OK – so where’s the training manual? I know – just do what comes naturally. Got it. Oh goodness – that could prove disastrous! lol
So tell me – all you grandmothers out there – how does this work? Any bits of sage gramma advice?
Not to let the non-grandmas out there off the hook – what are your favorite grandma memories? Tell me the good – throw in the bad and the ugly if you’d like. Right now I am in gathering/processing mode and need more info!!!
Come on – don’t be stingy. Share. If a note’s not enough – write an entry in your diary!
I did not have much relationship with my grandmothers. Not what I would call relationship. But your grandchild will have one with you for sure, no doubt a very healthy one. I’m hoping to, looking forward to reading about it. ryn: I’m always rather astonished when someone reads my long entries. 🙂 His idea, about consumerism, is a bit too generalized, so I had a similar reaction as you. Butinteresting to see how someone of his education sees things.
Warning Comment
I adored both my grandmothers because they loved me unconditionally. They expected proper behavior, but they didn’t always correct me like my mother did. In short, they just seemed to delight in my company.
Warning Comment
Though I HOPE I won’t be a Grandmother for a few years yet, I’ve given the name question some thought. Since you have to teach them to call you SOMEthing, why not teach them to call you something with a little pizzazz? Instead of “Gramma,” why not “Wise One?” Why not “Beautiful” or “Manbait” or “Chosen One?” Let’s stir it up a little. After all, we’re going to be going by THAT name for a long, long time!
Warning Comment
I never knew either of my grandmothers, nor were there any “grandmother-substitutes” so I’m no use here at all. Sorry! But because of your own grandmother, with whom you lived, I imagine you’ll just naturally behave the way she behaved to you. I think you’ll be a fabulous Granny/Grandma/Grandmother/Nana/Nanny/Gran/Elder Role Model
Warning Comment
I’ve already threatened anyone who even thinks of making me a grandmother before at least 10 years have passed here. My favorite memories are wrapped up in my Grandma J, my mother’s mother. They’re not so much something that would help you out, because I really believe that you will do what comes naturally and it will be perfect. So there!
Warning Comment
We only saw my grandma during summer vacation. She lived in Wyoming (my dad’s mother — my mom’s mother died when my mom was only 12) on a farm. She made pies (yes, plural) EVERY DAY from scratch and without a recipe. She was soft and pudgy and ALWAYS had a beautiful smile on her face. I loved her voice, though I doubt I would recognize it if I heard a recording of it. I just remember the feelingof complete love and acceptance from her. No judgment (which was so different from every other interaction in my life with my family). My gramma rocked!
Warning Comment
Somehow, I am not at all surprised to learn that Daddy Dearest’s mother was eccentric. I don’t have any favorite grandmother stories. Both my grandmothers were emotionally distant women who shouldn’t have had kids and should have been career women but because of their era, were stuck in the whole wife/mother/slave routine.
Warning Comment
Your grandmas sound great, I didn’t have any of that, and am totally unqualified to understand anything other than being over 50. I hope you get lots of wonderful stories and sage advice.
Warning Comment
Oh! Can I be 40, please? LOL! 😉 Let’s see, if I was 40 that would mean I had my oldest when I was… :::counts on fingers::: Um.. under 10. Couldn’t we say I started puberty early? lol! Grandma stuff. I don’t know. No role models for me, I’ve just stepped up to the plate and done what I had to do. In my case, It was being more of a parent to the grandkids until like last year.I’d have them 8-14 hours a day, never have really felt like a grandparent or have gotten to do the spoiling, grandparent things. Perhaps my role will change as time goes on, but the bond has been nurtured and is very strong. I hope it continues and that as the kids grow, they know they can depend on me to be one they can come to, no matter what~
Warning Comment
Granny’s traditional role is to spoil the kids with goodies & love. My wife was good it that. Can remember daughter Judi’s 3 clamoring to stay here and not go home.
Warning Comment
First: You never told me Tuppence was your Grandma!!!! Second: I’m “Nana”, Stepzilla is “Gram”–settle on that name, try it on for size, get used to it, love it. Love that baby and try to be there for Mama without usurping Mama’s Mama-role. This can be hard when the baby is crying–offer help and walk away graciously if it is turned down, but make it clear the offer is open. Make being with Nana/Granny special time, even if they live with you. Gramma time is love time. You’re not going to be ready for how much you love that baby. Remember how you felt when yours were born? Get ready for that feeling all over again, only maybe moreso because you’re not the first line of responsibility. With a warm smile…
Warning Comment
Only my maternal grandmother was alive when I was born. Retired elementary school teacher, breadwinner. Sang me Yiddish lullabies when I was a toddler. Raised me while my parents worked (father was a private music teacher for a pittance; breadwinner mother taught HS English for a larger pittance).
Warning Comment
Lesson learned from my grandmother that I apply the most: saying “You’re welcome” to people who forget to say “Thank you,” because sometimes it jogs their memory (or at least their guilt).
Warning Comment
In my case, I picked up grandson number one and I was forever lost in his big brown eyes. That was the first time I believed in forever, even if it is built of love and a gene pool. I introduced myself, “I’m your Granny”, and hoped he and all those who followed understood that Granny means I’m all yours, Baby Person. I still am all theirs. lol. Being a grandmother has been my best gig.
Warning Comment
I have my ex-MIL as a guide for grandmotherdom. She was/is the best there ever was for my children, who all remain very close to her, & I hope the same for me & mine! I have a 1000 & more good grandmother memories, & feel lucky that I do! I really connected with the age thing – I’m more than willing to tell MY age, but I seem older when I tell someone my oldest child’s age – 27. THAT makes me feel old!
Warning Comment
both of my grandbabies just reached out and took a hold of my heart. It is a feeling I’ve never experienced before. My mom’s mom was the only grandma I knew. Lively, interesting, fun. I hope I can be the grandma my mom and my grandma was.
Warning Comment
let me change that to like my mom is. At 85 she is a grandmother 6 and the grandgrand of 15 or 16. Mine are her youngest greatgrands. My parents are two of the bestest grands in the world.
Warning Comment
i’ll write you a whole entry 😀 I like grandmas.
Warning Comment
your (exceptionally long) entry is ready, madam.
Warning Comment
My dad’s mom, Grandma, was a kick-ass cook but not grand in the communication department. My mom’s mom, Nana, was all about chatting and stories and couldn’t cook worth a crap (she put unauthorized ingredients in things, like peas in tuna salad). In short, together, they made a great GraNana. My advice to you: Tell lots of stories and leave the peas out of the tuna salad. *grin*
Warning Comment
Sadly, I never met either of my grandmothers and although I do have some pictures, I know very little about them. I’ve always felt a little cheated about that.
Warning Comment
*smiles* I have to say my favorite moments with my grands…is when she and I would sit back and watch tv and she would talk to the tv in her mix of english/spanish and look at me for agreement. And when I wasn’t quick enough would ask me what I would have done differently. I love her, because she is just like me in a way. Just out there in left field.
Warning Comment
Ahhhhh these “kids” these days…. Haven’t they heard……. 50 is the new 40……. Or, in fact, I even read the other day that 50 might be the new 30! Mmmmmmm……. naaaa….. that might be a little stretch…. 🙂
Warning Comment
I only knew one of my grandmas. She would always play games with me, and I liked that a lot. She also listened to me. She died when I was 11 or so. *sigh*
Warning Comment
I didnt have a close relationship with my grandmothers, but I think Im a better grandma than I was a mom anyway. Its just easier and it does seem to come naturally. You have an advantage over most because of the closeness to your own grandmother. I wonder why there are so many books on child rearing but few on grand parenting. Maybe it really does come naturally.
Warning Comment
I once wrote a memorial for my Nana – http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=D534703&entry=10007 You might want to read it. She was an amazing woman. I am who I am because of her. Thanks for your note.
Warning Comment
how fortunate you are to have had two grandmothers!
Warning Comment
My Grandmother was a wonder. All I know about being a strong, good woman I learned from her. She was a gifted teacher, seamstress, artist, musician, and more than a little fey–healer–had premonitions…She loved animals and gardening. My family say I am alot like her and I consider that a compliment. If I have a grandchild someday I hope I am.
Warning Comment