Sunshine Wolf

April 11, 2000

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Going Through The Motions

The sun comes through the window touching my eyes

And the birdsong floats on air touching my ears.

My mind floats on the edge between sleep and attention

And my soul lies numb and dormant, indifferent to the world

A new day has begun and the game begins

Going Through the Motions anyone can play

Life by rote. Is it life at all?

Food prepared without feeling and eaten without taste.

The passion lies dormant, no fire to wake it up.

A passable imitation is the greatest coup

And the sign of a Master of the Game

Can you show love without feeling it?

Long sleepless nights alone with a turbulent brain

No thoughts stay long enough to form wholly

And in the end, a hole is all there is

Going through the motions for another day

Saying and doing the right things but somehow

Feeling the wrong feelings, if there is any feeling at all.

What will happen on the day I forget the rules?

I understand the words said to me for succor

But the truth in the design eludes me

Prayers to the goddess, the gods, the universe

Uttered in desperation seeking direction

Knowing they are answered, but not understanding

The intent of the answer, the direction given therein

Knowing there is a wellspring of love deep within and wondering

When the way there got lost and concealed.

Going through the motions and seeking the answers.

Perhaps the answers are there, but the questions are wrong?

But ever onward step by step, going through the motions

When the motions stop, will the meaning be there?

When the numbness stops, will the feeling be there?

When the pacing stops, with the path be there?

When the prayers stop, will anything be there?

And soon the sun will come through the window touching my eyes

And the birdsong will float on air touching my ears.

My mind will float on the edge between sleep and attention

And my soul

that was really good i feel like im going through the motions alot check out my last enrty…

I think we all have days of feeling like we are going through the motions and then something will snap and we look at a fresh sky, or really hear that bird sing and know we have a purpose….

Very, very nice! I can relate almost the entire way through!

{{{{{HUG}}}}}

What a fine example you set for your teenage daughter. Let your boyfriend move in, sleep with you, and you never really liked him anyway… and we wonder what is wrong with our world today….

Between sleep and attention! Wow! You really captured those inchoate feelings of uncertainty and longing. Thank you for sharing with us, Sunshine. Hope all goes well with you.

Speed up the clocks so this time can pass! I’m thinking of you SW! I’ll wait with you til this is behind you… and I’ll be in touch! Busy week…

BBe

April 12, 2000

a moving poem, great rhythm….and wonderful use of repitition (creative but not treated as a cliche)!

Very nice SW! Thanks for the note about my bro. ~:)

Awe SW, hang in there… just a thread of hope and anything is possible ***HUGS***

I see the negative note is from someone too cowardly to sign a name. Why is it so often so? I think if you believe strongly enough to condemn, then stand up and admit it, dammit! With a warm smile for you SW…Torin the Unsigned

Two things…Your poem, as your poems always do, touched off an answering chord in my soul…so often I think you must probe my mind and heart while I sleep before you begin to write… AND…

I’d like to spit on the jerk who left that “holier than thou” note. And I’m a pretty darned passive person and don’t often get this pissed. But reading that just made me burn. Big warm hugs to you, dear friend!

BlueEyes

I do believe that poetry is therapy for your soul, SW. I do love the way you write.

Beautiful!! You should publish your diary, including your poems. May you have a rich, fulfilling day, dearest Sunshine Wolf.

A lovely entry. Coming down with Springtime restlessness? Do delete the sniper note, though. It irritates the rest of us who know you’re a good person.

ahh, dear lady..feelings will return…with the springtime….you are so strong..and wonderful..never doubt yourself..you are an inspiration to so many of us..and you are cared for..(HUGS)

HAVE A GOOD DAY!

Your words are so profound! Lovely writing, SW. Stick with it, friend. We are here for you, if you need us. Hugz

When Kevin died, and I cried til I could no more, I grew numb, and went through the motions without feeling, but when the numbness passes feeling returns. 🙂 Love + Hugs,

I can relate to this poem, and it is a beauty; my marriage was like bleach to my soul. Feeling numb; an emotional oxymoron. *squish*..be well. =)

Wonderful writing Sunshine. Your words hit very close to home for me. Please take good care of yourself cause you deserve it. As for your soul, it will soar on Angel’s wings for eternity & comfort & protect all in need.

*hugs* Come on down to the dairy, we’ll give you some ice cream with flavor. Hmm frog flavor? 🙂 love

I loved it!! I can relate so much to this poem! Have you read the book, “In the Meantime” by Iyanla Vanzant? I think you would really enjoy it, it hits home hard.

Life is a roller coaster. I know you wouldn’t miss the ride. Sitting right here, next to you.

Wow. You really have had a full plate lately. How do you do it? I’ve simplified my life as much as possible & it still seems too much to handle sometimes.

That was me above too (re wow and the full plate).

ah, the depths that we cry from and the heights that we seek…you have expressed yourself so well here…I have found my most profound writings come from such moments as this…so keep writing.

I have wondered about many of these same things, Sunshine! Maybe you have been playing in the attic of my mind? Oh well, I guess that more than one person can wonder, eh? Hugs

Written so well.

Willy & Wilma

April 17, 2000

Inspired by the note Wonder left, the thoughts you expressed here so elegantly, Sunshine, are in the ‘attic’ of my mind since my wife of 57 yrs passed away. Let’s stay in the warm sunshine, away from that attic!