October 16, 2000

Evaluating Your Associations

I rarely post something written by someone else, but I found this to resonate so clearly within me that I thought this may be of value to some of the rest of you. It raised some questions for me in my own life…..happy reading!

If you were to evaluate the major influences in your life

that have shaped the kind of person you are, this has to be high on the list: the people and thoughts you choose to allow into your life. Mr. Shoaff gave me a very important warning in those early days that I would like to share with you. He said, “Never underestimate the power of influence.” Indeed,the influence of those around us is so powerful! Many times we don’t even realize we’re being strongly affected because influences generally develop over an extended period of time.

Peer pressure is an especially powerful force because it is so subtle. If you’re around people who spend all they make,chances are excellent that you’ll spend all you make. If you are around people who go to more ball games than concerts,chances are excellent that you’ll do the same thing. If you are around people who don’t read, chances are excellent that you won’t read. People can keep nudging us off course a little at a time until finally, we find ourselves asking,”How did I get here?” Those subtle influences need to be studied carefully if we really want our lives to turn out the way we’ve planned.

With regard to this important point, let me give you three key questions to ask yourself. They may help you to make better analysis of your current associations.

Here is the first question: “Who am I around?” Make a mental note of the people with whom you most often associate. You’ve got to evaluate everybody who is able to influence you in any way.

The second question is: “What are these associations doing to me?” That’s a major question to ask. What have they got me doing? What have they got me listening to? What have they got me reading? Where have they got me going? What do they have me thinking? How have they got me talking? How have they got me feeling? What have they got me saying?

You’ve got to make a serious study of how others are

influencing you, both negatively and positively.

Here’s a final question: “Is that okay?” Maybe everyone you associate with has been a positive, energizing influence. Then again, maybe there are some bad apples in the bunch. All I’m suggesting here is that you take a close and objective look. Everything is worth a second look, especially the power of influence. Both will take you somewhere, but only one will take you in the direction you need to go.

It’s easy to just dismiss the things that influence our

lives. One man say’s, “I live here, but I don’t think it

matters. I’m around these people, but I don’t think it

hurts.” I would take another look at that. Remember,

everything matters! Sure, some things matter more than

others, but everything amounts to something. You’ve got to keep checking to find out whether your associations are tipping the scales toward the positive or toward the

negative. Ignorance is never the best policy. Finding out is the best policy.

Perhaps you’ve heard the story of the little bird. He had his wing over his eye and he was crying. The owl said to the bird, “You are crying.” “Yes,” said the little bird, and he pulled his wing away from his eye. “Oh, I see,” said the owl. “You’re crying because the big bird pecked out your eye.” And the little bird said, “No, I’m not crying because the big bird pecked out my eye. I’m crying because I let him.”

It’s easy to let influence shape our lives, to let

associations determine our direction, to let pressures

overwhelm us, and to let tides take us. The big question is,are we letting ourselves become what we wish to become?

– Jim Rohn

thank you for posting that, it’s given me a lot to think about. 🙂 ~

BlueEyes

October 17, 2000

Food for thought. Reminds me of what Mom used to say. She said that the best way to stay out of trouble was to stay away from it.

Thanks for this. I’m going to give it to my son when he leaves to go overseas next January! 🙂

Hey darlin. Good post, thanks for the thoughts. Love,

Those subtle influences are what make us unhappy with who we are. Unsubtle ones too; I stopped watching TV in 1973, so far I haven’t missed it! 🙂

Ours thoughts are the most important; we can look back and say this or that wasn’t fair… This is today and that was yesterday and now I have to find the good in today, or a laugh from yesterday. 🙂

so many good people here, and so much to learn from each. definitely a good influence! 🙂

Certainly food for thought, SW. Hugz

thinking… thinking… thinking… HA! Now see what you did?? Be Well SW!

darkart

Good stuff!

that is great. never heard the bird story. I’ll remember that 1! also the discussion about influences reminds me of something I once heard about some relationships being toxic… and we have the right to choose some

** even family to a certain degree. It is a choice. Thanks for posting this!

Definitely worth the re-post…thanks for sharing that! ~:)

Wonderful SW…def food for lots of thought..;)

Unfortunately I was boring and left the collar off…if only all job interviewers were as liberal as you! ;)Strange about the peer pressure thing; if I’ve ever experienced it, I’ve never noticed at the time.

Rimbaud

Interesting. Don’t we influence how other people behanve as much as they influence us?

Thank you for this, Sunshine! This entry is full of wisdom and sound reminders. Re: your note, once you’ve known affluence, it’s much harder to scale down and get used to poverty or scarcity. I know.

Good entry w/good reminders. I, like the little bird, have always accepted responsibility for what others have done as I was sure if I had been smarter or stronger or whatever then it wouldn’t have happened.

As far as the “big” question- what if part of us wants something but isn’t sure exactly what is wanted or even if it will be worth it of obtained & part of us simply wants to (dare I say it)…

…part of us wants to just stop. To let go. It’s just not worth it. So the 2 parts are locked in an internal struggle- part hanging on to only God knows what & an offsetting part trying to let go.

Neither side is making enough headway to alter the current course. Just maintaining uses up all strength. *sigh* Obviously neither side wants what it wants badly enough. *small smile*

Please forgive my introspection & ramblings in your diary. Questions are always good- it’s the answeres that can be tough- not in not knowing but in carrying out. Please note above- s/be “if” obtained (vs of).

As if I weren’t thinking too much already … you sly wolfie, you! This is great. Thanks for sharing it. (all those notes above are NOT mine.) XOXO

Hugz…

Thanks for sharing – it made me think. I have to be around negative influences in my job. I will look for more positive influences in my personal life. And OD is the place to find them!!!!!!

That gives me a lot to think about. Thanks. Big hugs to you.

hmmmm….. –pollyanna unplugged

oooooooh my , this is a good one. requires many long walks on the beach . brrrrrr 🙂 thank you . i loved the note about our influence on others .

Thank you for this. Hugs.

Ah yes, makes the brain wrinkle up its crinkles

a lot to think about here

How many times in my life have I thought, “Now, why did I let myself be influenced by that person or that idea? It’s just plain silly!” (or dumb or not what I really want to think or feel). Good entry.

Torin Invanusson

October 24, 2000

Hmmmm…and I’ve been associating with Tuppence. And you. And Creek. And Harley…Hmmm. With a thoughtful smile…

now that the bottle of tylenol three has been stomped upon.. i can read this and make sense of it. 🙂 Of course won’t be long till i need more for the toofers. : )