Drop It Like It’s Hot

“Mom! Hey Mom! Come look at this!!”

“Stinker, I have just walked through the door, the dog is humping my leg with joy at my arrival, and I want to change clothes and sit down for a minute.”

“No, really. Come look at this first. You really need to see this. It’s important. Puhhhlllleeeeeaaaasssseee!”

“Is it important?”

“Super important. You gotta see it NOW!”

Grumble, sigh. Sigh, grumble. Extrication of my leg from the dog’s amorous embrace. Grumble, grumble, sigh. Walk over to the girl child’s room and open the door. Take a step back as the full volume of the stereo slams into me. Quick survey of the occupants of the room. Only 6 kids today. Two less than yesterday. Groan.

“What’s so important?”

“Watch what Shadia is teaching us!”

“OK, Shadia. Let’s see your stuff.”

Shadia deliberately placed her feet the exact amount of space apart that she deemed necessary. She bent her knees, leaned forward and lightly rested her hands upon her knees. She closed her eyes in peaceful meditation as one of the other kids restarted the song that was playing. Her body began a gentle swaying to the boom-boom-boom hip-hop beat. All of a sudden her body erupted into one of the most blatantly sexual dance movements I have seen short of nudie bar. The smile on her face got bigger and bigger as her knees opened and closed and her hips thrust forward and back – all in time to the music. My eyes were crossing as I pictured my daughter executing this move.

“Whoa! You’re not teaching THAT to these girls!”

Shadia’s smile widened with pride. She nodded her head. “Yes”.

Sigh.

“Come on Mom. Pop with us. Show us how you pop!”

“No. Mine doesn’t pop any more. I’ve had two kids.”

“Then how about this? Try this!”

Shimmying shoulder movements accompanied with balled fists and wriggling hips. OK. I can do that one – even thought it does cause a major eruption of laughter amid the audience.

“What about this one?” Hip wiggles, turning, outward thrusting of foot. Yep. I can do that one too. My confidence is soaring. The kids are grinning. I prefer to think that their grins are because I’m cool rather than a feeble attempt not to break out into full scale guffaws at my pathetic attempt at MTV style dancing for seniors.

“Hey Mom! Drop it like it’s hot! Come on….drop it like it’s hot!”

My daughter drops into a deep knee bend, bounces around in a circle while maintaining that squat and whirling one hand overhead – sort of like she was twirling a lariat.

My jaw dropped.

“Sweetie, if I dropped it like it’s hot, it would stay dropped. Furthermore, it’s not hot, it’s cold. Been that way for a while now. I’ve learned to live with it. So should you.”

I closed the door to gales of giggles and stalked off down the hall to change my clothes.

Whatever happened to debutante balls and waltzes?