March 3, 2000

A Rant About The Children

This has been a rough couple of days in some respects. And those respects have had me giving some serious thought to our kids.

Last week a 7th grade girl in my daughters school was first suspended, then arrested for having compiled a hit list. The hit list reportedly listed at least 7 students and 1 teacher that the child wanted to kill. There is also a rumor that only half the list was discovered and more is to be found perhaps with another student. This is a child that my daughter knows and has classes with. They do not like each other. Words have been exchanged at some point or another. Does this mean my daughter is on the hit list? What in the world drives a 13 year old to compile a hit list? Where does hatred that strong spring from? I must confess, I am bewildered by the recent trend of younger and younger children violently acting out their fears and frustrations. Where have we failed them? Why do these children, CHILDREN, see violence and death as the only alternative?

Today, I think I may have seen part of the answers to these questions. I dropped my daughter and 3 of her friends off at the mall. I returned two hours later to pick them up. They were waiting for me, even though I was a few minutes early. But they werent all waiting for me. One girl was missing. I asked where she was.

She got busted in Abercrombie & Fitch for shoplifting and they cant find her parents.

I parked the car, and the four of us entered the mall. On the walk to Abercrombie & Fitch, the 3 girls filled me in on what had happened. According to them, then had all been detained and searched, but Lily was the only one they held. When we got to the store, I asked where she was being held and got pointed towards a back room. I found Lily in a small room with a male store employee who was on the phone. He barely looked up when I came into the room. After a few more minutes I was handed the phone.

This is Mr. Smith with corporate security, How may I help you?

Help me? I just want to know whats going on.

According to Mr. Smith a serious crime had been committed. They had found Lily standing in the store with a shirt in her hand that had the security tag removed. Therefor, she is a criminal. I thought this sounded a bit circumstantial and asked some more questions. I was informed again that this 13 year old was a dangerous criminal. I pointed out that nothing had been proven. Mr. Smith apparently did not agree. He stated that he didnt need proof. I asked him if we still lived in America and if the phrase innocent until proven guilty meant anything to him. At that point I was told that this was none of my business, the police had been called, and I should leave the store immediately. Nope. I dont think so. I told Mr. Smith I would be waiting to talk to the police. Mr. Smith got a mite hot under the collar and informed me that I could NOT stay. Excuse me? Yes, I can stay. Yes, I am going to stay any damn where I please.

Three police arrived to apprehend this dangerous 13 year old girl with no weapons and no criminal record. I made my presence known. After speaking with the store folks and with Lily the officer spoke with me. I told him that I was upset that my daughter & friends had been detained and when they asked to call me, they were refused. I was upset that the store people were so rude to me. The officer explained that they dont need to be nice to criminals. Oh. I smiled sweetly and asked him what crime I had committed to deserve such treatment. He told me the story that the store folks had given. I told him that the 3 girls out in the store had a very different version. I pointed out the holes in the store peoples story. Mr. Police Officer went back to confer with the store people. He returned and said the store folks really werent interested in prosecuting the girls, after all they were only 13. They also werent interested in me coming back a month from now and complaining about the incident.

My ears perked up. They were worried that I would SUE them for their behavior even though they were totally in the right and Lily was a criminal. More discussion ensued. The other 3 girls were questioned (politely and in my presence). The officer said give him 5 minutes and this would be resolved and we could ALL leave.

10 minutes later the officer came out to see me again. He said that he was getting too many conflicting stories, that police dont like conflicting stories, and that he was going to send Lily to juvenile for the night. The rest of us could and should leave now. I thanked him for his time, asked if they were going to call Lilys parentsand then handed him a pile of 3 shirts and 2 pairs of shorts that I had found with no security tags on them. I asked him to tell the store folks to be more careful there are dangerous shoplifters loose.

Heres the bottom line there were four 13 year old girls in an expensive (over priced even) store with no adult. 2 of those girls are of mixed race. The girls had the gall to ask to be allowed into the locked dressing room to try on clothes. A clerk found a shirt with no security tag in the clothes that they asked to try on. She wasn’t leaving the store, she wasn’t hiding the shirt. She was going to try it on. Subsequently the clerk found another tagless shirt, looked around for likely suspects, and decided that 4 young girls or diverse ethnic backgrounds would HAVE to be the culprits. They were detained, pushed around and bullied. They were not allowed to contact their parents. They were presumed guilty until proven innocent.

What was my original question? Oh yes..how do our children get so much anger pent up inside of them?

you use children as such a general term, it’s not all children who want to go out and kill kill kill. i know i certinally do not.

Whoa… this just SCREAMS CIVIL RIGHTS. And sounds like NOBODY was advised of ANY of their rights. I’m with YOU… I’d be hot too! **HUGS**

I’d be furious too!!! They had no right to charge her with those “allegations” if there was no proof. This does NOT make sense. …and you’re right. That store is over-the-top. Oh yes, I’d make a point to come

BBe

March 4, 2000

back, and come back often. 🙂 That’s just me. How about you? *S*

This SCREAMS lawsuit, as far as I’m concerned, and that poor girl! No wonder some (not all) kids learn hatred and make hit lists. Grown-ups should know better. Some, like you, do:) Love + Hugs,

and in our screams of “lawsuit!” “prejudice!!”as we overtop the frightened whimper of the childdo we not teach them all too well…

Added the songs as requested, I meant to include others too. The mention of Abercrombie and fitch reminds me of another song.

How true. We so often blame things on children who ar einnocent. I was followed once in a department store by a sales clerk who was positive I wanted to steal simply because of my age.

She was IN the store? So you can be guilty while IN the store? A&F just made a not so popular list here, never shall they have the pleasure of me shopping there, never will they have any of my cash… Poor Kid

it’s a sad world we live in today…I become more and more convinced each day, with each new crime and each new horror that this really must be part of the “end times”…what else could explain things such as these?

Renamed Abercrombie and Grinch. What a bunch of doodoo heads. Now, we have to start by giving our children someplace safe to go have fun besides malls and messages besides buy and kill. Great tale. Love,

Torin Invanusson

March 5, 2000

I am so pleased that you are sensible enough to stand up for what is right. You have my undying admiration (even if I do write mush from time to time) With a bow…

I cannot even begin to tell you the conflicting emotions that flow through me right now. Society is SO quick to jump and point fingers…sometimes justly, but mostly NOT…stay in their face.

As far as the girl with a hit list…I had a young girl in my home last year…remember? I KNOW all too well the anger that starts deep within a soul so young. She would write stories about finding US with (C)

(c) finding us with our throats slit and blood everywhere…All of this for very minor infractions that we called her on. I KNOW where it started…but she wouldn’t let me help fix it.(sigh)

There was a bit on the news yesterday about how children and teens are not all bad. Abercrombie and lincoln’s GRINCH is on my list of avoids, tho it may just be that manager. *checks shirt* hmm gatlin burg

price 7.99 cotton, big paisely TN with gatlinburg in silver. 🙂 Frog likes cotton, frog wears often cotton shirts of frog colour with frogs. Not an ambercrombie in the house…. :0) My grinches are all Seussian.:)

Glad you did that. HEY when we go to the zoo should we stage a FROG IN? 🙂 Winifred Froglette at her storytale diary since the old one won’t open, here’s the new. 🙂

sophist

March 5, 2000

I am again outraged at the treatment of children,the treatment of adults,the treatment of people in general.We all think we know so much,are so confident in our ability to KNOW things,when all we do is guess *sigh*

I think it has more to with parents who don’t raise their children correctly than anything. I mean, your daughter wouldn’t make a hit list, would she? I wouldn’t, and I have strict parents. I can think of endless

people that have parents who don’t care about what they do, and they’re the ones I’m afraid of at school…

SW, just have to thank you for your notes of support re the smoking…you don’t know how much it helps me to remember them at hard moments…it really, truly makes a difference. God bless you for caring.

Sigh. I say forgive the bastards!

EGADS Sunshine~That’s enough to make yer hair stand on end. Good they kicked them out now they just have to make sure they don’t sneak back. Geesh! Oh & you tell me what ya want & I’ll track em down. Grins & Hugs~

I am amazed at the level of distrust, bigotry, and fear that seems to permeate your little southern town. I’ll take California any day. I know it happens here, too, but it seems like it’s everyday there.XOXO

Dear Sunshine Wolf, This is a very disquieting account. I thought no crime can be said to have taken place until the item in question is actually removed from the premises. Please clarify this point for me.

BlueEyes

March 6, 2000

Check your mail, SW, I sent something interresting for you to read on the A & F bastards. Good for you, too, and you are also my hero!

Good for you Sunshine! I have been fighting shit like that for 36 years! I raised six children in the public schools, then decided to home school my last daughter, and if I knew then what I know now, I would

have home schooled all of them! Do you know that school children have to give their ss # in order to get meals here, and that they are treated more like prisoners than students? I could go on and on, but the

main thing I want to tell you is Bravo! The world needs more people who will stand up for something, not just let society and idiot people steamroll over their constitutional and human rights! Good Job!!!

Life can be so confusing for an adult. I often wonder how the kids do as well as they are doing with so many mixed messages

Mns

March 6, 2000

First of all, from what you’ve described, if it were my child i would sue the store. Totally inappropriate handling of the situation and could conceivably be emotionally traumatic to a child.

Mns

March 6, 2000

There could be other constructive ways to deal with it. You would think innocent till proven guilty, but I got a minor traffic ticket once, and it was like guilty till I could prove myself innocent!

I am so glad you were the mother who picked the girls up. Not many people stand up for their’s and other peoples rights the way you do. It’s so ridiculous an accusation. In UK even if you put items in your bag you c

Mns

March 6, 2000

which I did, in court. Sad about the child with a hit list, and whereas I can appreciate the anger, parents should also provide alternative ways to vent, other than violence…and that parenting must start very young..

can’t be stopped for shoplifting until you leave the shop.

Mns

March 6, 2000

I applaud you for getting involved like you did 🙂

I only made it through half of this before breaking down out of frustration, yet “Amenning” you. Will return tomorrow…You’re great!

Wow, you work well under pressure and handled this well. I don’t know what I would have done. Keep us posted. 🙂

WOW! That’s horrible! At least the girls know that you are willing to stand in their corner! So few children are treated with respect these days. Now the solution???

Bravo SW – If anything ever happens to me, will you adopt my kids? I can’t think of anyone else better for the job. I don’t have any experience with “five finger discounts” but did the child have $$ for the blouse?

2nd Question: Could the store explain how a 13-yr old could remove a security tag? I thought there was a special device for this. 3rd Q: How can they accuse anyone of shoplifting before they leave the premises?

Here’s another example of how business people treat underage kids: My son was accompanied by a friend & his parents in a restaurant & was refused service because my son wasn’t accompanied by his own parent.

Some schools have rules that no nail files or fingernail clippers are allowed. They are considered “weapons”. Can’t a pen or pencil be used as a weapon? So, high school seniors – take your crayons.

Conflicting stories from witnesses was the reason that a local 17 yr old boy was let off for stabbing an unarmed 16 yr old boy to death (claimed self defense). He wasn’t even charged with assault or any crime.

Your daughter and her friends are lucky to have you on their side. Kids need to be reassured that not all authority figures are going to disrespect them – for whatever reasons.

That makes me furiously angry. I hope this situation is corrected and all the girls AND their parents receive a written apology. It seems like people want to believe the worst of kids these days.

Willy & Wilma

March 17, 2000

Pogo:”We has met the enemy—and he is us”