amazed

I’m now working my new "permanent" shift at my new job.  I work from 2AM to 2PM Saturday and Sunday, then 7 AM to 2:45 PM on Monday and Tuesday.  I have Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday off.  I’m really liking that part of it.  The hard day is Saturday, because I only have 12 hours between shifts.  Sunday, I get off at 2 and don’t go back in till 7AM on Monday, so I stay up and go to bed like normal.  I like working the weekend/night shift, because since I am the only person there, I can listen to my music.  I’ve been downloading music lately.  I sit in front of the television with the music channels on, and when I hear a song I like, I download it.  I now have a cd of almost 8 hours of music.  🙂 So I can listen to the one cd most of the night.  Oh, and this is all music that came out in ’08.  A few songs that I’m REALLY loving are:

Alejandro Escovido – Always A Friend

Amos Lee – What’s been Going On?

Brandi Carlile – The Story, and also Turpentine.  (Liked these so much, I bought her cd)

Conor Oberst – Sausalito, and Cape Canaveral (bought this one too.  Really good songs)

Jenny Lewis – Carpetbaggers

Kings of Leon – Sex on Fire, and Use Somebody

Mason Jennings – Fighter Girl, and Your New Man (Your New Man is SO cool, and comical, too)

Newton Faulkner – Gone in The Morning

Paulo Nutini – Jenny Don’t be Hasty, Rewind, and New Shoes (bought this cd, too.  Love it)

Tristan Prettyman – Hello

Vampire Weekend – Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa (really like this one a LOT)

But my favorite song I’ve downloaded lately has to be by The Airborne Toxic Event, and it’s called "Sometime Around Midnight".  Something about it just gets me going.  It’s not so much the story they tell, but I love the music and the sense of urgency in the song.  I get a somewhat diminished feeling from both of the songs by Kings of Leon, as well.

I didn’t plan on writing about the music I liked, though.  I was planning on writing about what I’ve been figuring out about myself lately.  Early on in 2008, I quit playing pool in APA because it wasn’t fun for me anymore.  I was going over to Marc’s place (guy who moved into my house in June until he bought his house in November) playing Rock Band.  I thoroughly enjoyed it, as anyone who knows me would, since I live for music!  Sometime before Marc moved in, I stopped playing.  The entire time he lived with me, we had the game set up, and he played with others who came over, but I was not interested in joining in.  Earlier this week I went to Marc’s house, and we played.  And I enjoyed it. 

I also got a call on Monday.  It was a friend asking me to join his APA team, on Tuesday evenings, to start a new division.  I agreed to join, because there is no reason for me not to join.  I’m off on Wednesdays.  I have started enjoying playing pool again, too. 

So I was driving home from Marc’s house, and it hit me.  I know I’ve said I’ve been down, and it was a rough year, but I didn’t realize I truly was "depressed".  I had actually asked my doctor to put me on meds for depression early on in the year, and he did, but they didn’t do anything, so I thought it was just a mood or stress or something.  But all the commercials for depression talk about how you lose interest in things you used to enjoy, and stuff like that.  So when it hit me that I had lost interest in the things I had always enjoyed, I was shocked, and amazed.  The good part is that I’m coming out of it.  Also, it’s good that I have realized it!  I still am shocked that I was so depressed, and never saw what was going on.  I guess that’s part of it, but I always thought I was more "self aware" than that.

Anyway, yeah, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m through the hard part, and i"m going to make it fine.  🙂

 

Mom and Dad decided to go to Arizona this year for a few months, instead of going to Arkansas like they have for the past few years.  They’ve got close friends in Arkansas, where in Arizona, they have my Mom’s sister and her husband, as well as other friends.  Unfortunately, there are very few rentals in Arizona, so they ended up buying a house.  It’s a two bedroom house, the exact same model as my Aunt and Uncle’s house, only reversed, and decorated much differently.  The house was already furnished, too, so that saved them money and time.  Mom seems thrilled with it though, so I can’t wait to go check it out.  They close on the 23rd, I think is the schedule.  Here it is the 9th, and they only left North Dakota on the 2nd.  It took them a whole day to find the house and have the offer and two counters in, signed contract and all.  Oh, and it’s only a few miles from my Aunt and Uncle’s house, too.  So I’m pretty excited for them. 

My housing situation is very different.  I’m "in foreclosure", but am working with the mortgage company to try to work out a plan so I can keep it.  Losing all the overtime I used to make at my old job really hurt me.  Plus, last year the mortgage company raised my payments to "cover shortages" in my escrow account.  Funny, this year, it’s supposed to go down because I have overages in it.  After not making all the payments.  Somehow that just doesn’t seem right, does it?  Oh well…  that’s the way it happened.  So, at this point (found out this afternoon) the sale which was supposed to take place on the 13th, has been pushed back to the 1st of Feb.  I’ll have to see what kind of options we can work out, and if I’ll be able to afford to make the payments.  If so, I’ll keep it.  If not, I’ll look for a rental.  I know I could rent a place for much less than my house payment, but I don’t want to have to move, and I want to keep the tax break.  Either way, I am okay with it though.  It isn’t going to get me down either way.  There are pros to each option, and I’ll focus on those.  I’m not going to keep the house if I am going to be so strapped for cash that I end up losing it down the road, either.  That would just make everything harder.  When I realized I was unable to make the payments, I put the house on the market.  That was July 3rd.  One person has come through the house since then.  Crazy, huh?

Oh well.  I’m pulling out of my rut, and I’m going to have a better ’09!  I can feel it!  Obama is coming into office SOON, and he’s going to bring the country back to good!  (oh, and yes, I’m off Monday AND Tuesday of the inauguration for MLK’s birthday, and the inauguration.  Since I’m off Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, that’s going to be a good week!)  🙂