Yeah, right.

I feel like i’m getting over the whole thing.  Like the last few days, i’m starting to realise that he really doesn’t care that much.  That he upsets me, and he’d rather fuck me off than fix why i’m upset in the first place.

He lied to me last weekend.  I took him out for tea because we had been arguing relentlessly and i wanted him back, the way he and i were.  He was on his phone all night.  To Olivia, because she was having problems with her bf.. WHAT ABOUT OUR FUCKING PROBLEMS.  That was rubbing me the wrong way.  Then in the middle of the movie we were watching later he gets up, get dressed and says he’ll be back in a minute, i ask where he’s going and he says no where and leaves.  He comes back in 15 mins later and i ask again where he was, "no where." "what were you doing?" "i was just upstairs" "What, you were just sitting up there doing nothing????" "………. Olivia came over for a sec" 

Um.. Ex-fucking-cuse me?

He talked me around in the end.  I got all my stuff and automatically left.  I was balling my eyes out.  He doesn’t lie. and he doesn’t sneak out to go comfort another chick.  Fuck him.  How can i trust him after he’s acted like that?  I can’t.  Not unless he stops lying and i have time to get over it.  A lot of time.

Now i’m pissed off because he said i couldn’t come around this week or next week because he has early starts of a morning, fair enough.  I’ll see him on the weekend right? HA.  Nope, he’s busy, and here’s a shock, Jade’s not invited.  Gee thanks, i appreciate that.  And he’s just getting pissed off at me because i’m cut.  Why can’t he just be comforting, or even better, WANT to see me?!

This whole thing is getting old.

I’m feeling like i’m getting over it because he wont make an effort with me.  He lies to me and it’s been me picking up the pieces and making the effort because he’s cut that i think he’s unfaithful.  He will only be nice if i do it first, it’s almost like he’s mimicking me, for the last three weeks i’ve got "ok, you too, night xx" as a goodnight msg, because he refuses to write one first, he’ll actually send another msg to cue me to write a msg first.

I can’t take it, i really think that maybe i should be staying away because i feel terrible and he’s only making me worse by being an ass and getting pissed off with me.  I just wish i was strong enough