Rationalised

So I will admit, I did bite back.  Her entry hurt, as she was trying to, and I reacted.  I know I was harsh in my entry.  I don’t really have any remorse for that fact, but I do know she’s not the most stable person in the world and I probably should’ve been a little more withheld. 

So what happened, was that desserae was planning to come down for the weekend.  I met her through OD and we were really good friends.  We’ve had a couple of fights before but hey.  I couldn’t get leave for work because she only gave me one weeks notice.  We’ve only got four casuals at work at the moment and I’m the only one without kids or uni and i’m the one that they rely on to work all these hours.  I asked for Monday Tuesday off but Fran said she couldn’t make any promises cause i’m pretty much the only one that can work those days.  i told Jackie this. 

I got rostered 11-4 on Monday and then 8-4.30 on Tuesday but I told Jackie I would swap my shift with Caroline that day and i’d only be working 7-11 so i’d be home by midday!  Then she completely flipped out saying all this WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?! Sort of stuff, I figured Monday for those hours she could look around the shops in Hobart or do whatever she pleased to do, then tuesday after she got out of bed I didn’t think it’d hurt her just to stay here and do her own thing until i got home!  But that wasn’t good enough for her.  After the last week of her telling me not to lose work over her and all this stuff she started strongly hinting at me to tell them I couldn’t work.  I can’t just do that, there’s no one else!

Anyways so she gets all wierd and then tells me she’s just going to cancel the whole thing.  Out of shock and disappointment I reply "right"  Then she skitzes out at me, goes "don’t pretend to be disappointed or anything" then goes offline.  Next thing i know there’s huge entry posted about how her and her whole family thinks i’m selfish for working and just taking all these low blows at me which I know she was only writing to try and get me down but I was way beyond pissed off, I couldn’t turn the other cheek to that entry.  Not after she’d just stuffed me around so much.  So i wrote my last entry in retaliation and then went to work.

When I finished work I had a msg from Jackie pretty much saying friends fight and hinting that she still wanted to come down tomorrow.  She’d obviously calmed down and wanted to come still.  I didn’t reply cause frankly I was still angry at her and would’ve yelled at her.  By the time I got home I had another msg just clarifying something she said in the first message she sent. 

I thought she’d calmed down but when i jumped on the net she’d blocked me from msn, facebook and OD.  I was like okay fine.  That was all good UNTIL Geard says, that Jackie chick just left me a message on facebook.  I was like ?????  She wrote "I hope you find out Jade’s feelings for Bren sooner rather than later mate"

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Granted Geard laughed at it and said she needs to get back onto the drugs.  I was rage beyond rage that she would dare to stoop SO low.  To try and cause trouble with my boyfriend?!?!  It was none of her business and I would have NEVER EVER EVER done that to her no matter what she’d done to me.  I raged and raged and raged.  I truely wanted to rip her fucking eyes out.  I replied to her msg and told her to stay away from me forever, that she was dead to me after that stunt.  She was only a bitch to me about it, got out as much abuse towards me if she could.

I will never forgive her for that stunt.  To make up something like that, to try and make me unhappy, to try and break me and Geard up when she knows how happy I am!  I cannot even begin to understand how a mind like that works.  I do not understand because I wouldn’t even try that on my worst enemy.  I’m thoroughly insulted that she would do that and i’m waiting for her to start on my other friends too, mainly Julie cause she knows how close we are.

Reading through her facebook and od before she blocked me, she’s twisted everything to make out that this was all me, when in reality I didn’t do anything!  She’s got everyone calling me selfish for WORKING?!???

I hate her for this.

I was angry before.  But now.. I don’t want anything to do with her.  To know she’s capable of that shit.

Thank you MSOJ for your notes, I appreciate it xx 

Also thanks to my girl Julie who i LOVE SO MUCH!!!!