I am SO freaking bored.

Ten things I wish I could say to ten different people (no names!):
10: You’re like my sister.. I wish you were different though.  I wish everything wasn’t about you.  I wish I could go near you but you still make me so angry.
9: You hurt me, but you hurt me even more by not acknowledging this.
8: I feel bad about the past, you made it even over time but initally it was my fault and I never meant for that to happen and i’m so sorry about that.  You’ll always have a place in my heart though.  Even if you don’t know it.
7: I miss you.  It’s my own fault.. But I do miss our crazy times and hope we can work it out eventually.
6: I’m so scared with the feelings I have for you.. Scared that it’s all going to be taken away from me.  That i’ll screw it up.
5: You’re not very good for me but I do miss you.  Not that you’ll ever hear about it.
4: I actually do idolise you.. I have no idea why.. But there’s just something.
3: I STILL hate you.  I hate the ground you walk on.  I hate everyone who wastes their time in your lowly presence.  I hope you die alone and burn in hell.
2: I don’t get you sometimes but you have NO idea how much I love you and how much I would NOT be here without you.
1: I wish you’d just grow some balls sometimes, you deserve SO so much more than you have.  You deserve the best.

  

Nine things about myself:
9: When it comes down to it.. All I need is me.  I can deal with anything in the end.
8: I love how much everyone is underestimating me right now.  I will show everyone.
7: I need my alone time. 
6: I don’t get along with people.  I don’t make effort for people, it’s never bothered me until now.
5: I love attention.  I don’t like being around people but I love the attention when I know I look good.  Don’t ask me how that works.
4: I still suck my thumb.  It’s not something I’m ashamed of.  It’s not something I can help.
3: It scares me that i seem to have a lack of goals and that doesn’t really bother me.
2: I’m the most stubborn, determined person you’ll ever meet, despite this so called lack in ambition.  Once I’ve decided i’ll do something, I’ll damn well do it.
1: Sometimes I wish I could control my anger better.  Could just let it go.

    

Eight ways to win my heart:
8: Trust me.  And let me trust you.
7: Understand me.
6: Do things that interest me, don’t make it all about yourself.
5: Make effort.  Make me laugh. 
4: Be happy to just spend time with me doing nothing.
3: Be someone I can look up to.
2: Don’t belittle me.  Don’t mock me, even if you’re joking.  I will fire up.
1: Be there for me.

  

Seven things that cross my mind alot:
7: My furture, my job.
6: My attitude.
5: My boyfriend.
4: Being lonely.
3: Friends.
2: Food & Fitness.
1: Doubts, reassurances. 

    

Six things I do before I fall asleep:
6: Say goodnight to parents/Msg Julie nigh night.
5: Take off makeup/Wash face.
4: Clean my teeth.
3: Go to the toilet.
2: Turn the lights off/set alarm.
1: Climb into my boys arms, kiss him goodnight and fall asleep on his chest.

  

Five people that mean alot:
5: My family.
4: Geard.
3: Julie.
2: Jade.
1: Bren.

  

F

our things I’m wearing right now:
4: New hoodie.
3: New jeans.
2: Glasses.
1: Underwear.

 

  

Three bands/artists that I listen to alot lately:
3: Hilltop Hoods.
2: Nickleback.
1: Breaking Benjamin.

  

Two things I want to do before I die:
2: Travel.  Go to America.
1: Have a family.

  

 

 

One confession:
1: Sometimes I wish I were different.  My personality.  I wish I found it easier to get along with people, or had a mindset that allowed me to meet new people, be apart of a big group.