ARGH.

Excuse the language..  I know there will be a lot.

I am SO sick of being fucked around for someone who "LOVES" me "SO MUCH".  

Someone who loves you doesn’t doubt that they want to be with you in the end.

They don’t need to chose between you and someone else.

They don’t need to keep them both hanging on without taking any actions.

Sleep with them both.

Fuck them both around.

I just went off at him.  Fuck it.  He’s not going to be around anyway.

I got "i love you more than anything but i’m not sure I can take the leap or not.  I guess that’s what it really comes down to.  I know you’re not asking me for a relationship but if i can’t do it then i’m only going to hurt you more and i guess that’s what i’m trying to work out."

Fuck you asshole.  Don’t fucking pretend you care to cover your own ass.  Fuck you.

I hate him sometimes.  He fucks me over like this all the god damned time.  He sucks me in because he knows my head and he knows how to fuck me over and then bam, I’m fucking defenseless.

Argh.  I’m so mad I can’t even get out what’s in my head.

I need to let this go, I know I do.  I need to stop talking to him, stop spending the night with him.  Just deal with the loneliness because this isn’t going away.  He’s never going to let me or her go.  He’ll just hang onto this until one of us cracks.  So he can have her.  See if I care.  Hope they’re both fucking happy.