two faced

Have you ever looked at someone and questioned their entire being? Came to the realization and wondered that maybe… it was an act? You decided to dig a little deeper- past the lies, the secrets, the fake mask they wear. But what you see is a horror you could never take back. Their identity is enough to make you second guess what humans are capable of. That’s how I felt after having met a girl who moved into my town a few years back. She promised the truth, little did I know her fingers were crossed. She disguised herself as a typical happy-go-lucky, down to earth, confident and carefree Christian girl. Behind this front was a soul that was deteriorating. A soul ridden by drugs, alcohol and self harm. Centered in her universe was evil. She orbited around sex. Her world was in the middle of an asteroid belt, being bombarded with meteors around every rotation. She lived in mental institutions and rehab. I was always hearing about the next overdose, stitches for cuts that went too deep and arrests. This was not the girl I once knew. Not long after this, I learned she was molested, that her mom was lesbian, that her brother suffered from manic bipolar. I also learned she stripped for men, watched porn, smoked cigarettes. The list kept going on and on. I felt like she was an onion, layer after layer, there was always something more.

One day, after having given her the ultimatum, she came clean with it all. It was more than I could comprehend. How could I have not known? How could she do this to me? It took me time to sit down and think our relationship through. Is it worth it? With time, I decided to give her another chance. She’s regained my trust, and two years later, we’re going on as two of the strongest pair of best friends of all time. "Secrets don’t make friends?" No, they don’t. But they sure as hell can bring two closer.