Something I wrote

Fragile

So small and so fragile, One small push and you break into a million pieces.

So small, I easily step and look down at you with a cold hatred gaze while you lay there unable to do nothing, I overpower with ease after all I am bigger and stronger.

So why?

Why as I’m standing on you clearly in control with you underneath me powerless…I’m the one who’s body starts to turn rigid in fear and helplessness followed by the lump slowly starting to form in my throat from the sight in front of me.

Oh, I know why.

In reality…

You’ve always had the power. You’ve always had the control over ME, everything I do is to keep YOU satisfied, Every action of every day is just for this moment where I can stand and look down at you without feeling the overwhelming dread that follows.

I must keep YOU happy in order for ME to feel happy. I long for the day where we can be friends and I’m excited to see you instead of scared, the day where I control you and in the end we can drift apart…only see each other every once in a while like long time friends ready to catch up.

But for now..

So small and So fragile, But so much power and control.

Man, I really hate my scale 

*Please know I’m not a writer this is just something I wrote during a really hard day dealing with an ED and just really wanted to share. *