7/11/08

Man, do I suck at updating.  I realize it’s been quite some time since I last wrote an entry, and that’s honestly because I’ve been so busy and preoccupied that I feel like my head is spinning.

 Kristina and I moved into our very first apartment on July 1st.  Or rather, I moved in.  Kristina has yet to move anything in.  Why, do you ask?  Because she had to order bedroom furniture and waited until JUNE 30th to do it!  So essentially, I’m living alone.  Which, surprisingly, isn’t all that bad.  I kind of like the peace and quiet at night and not having to fight over the bathroom in the mornings.  Still, it’d be nice to have a roommate, so I can’t wait until her furniture gets delivered on July 18th.  She comes to hang out every night, but it isn’t really the same.

What else?  I have four classes right now and I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed.  Two of them end, thankfully, in less than 2 weeks so I’m hoping I can make it until then without having an aneurism.  (haha!) 

Now…the bit I know you’ve all been waiting to hear about.  My new man.  To be honest, I’m not sure if my initial feelings are still valid.  I still think that we compliment each other very well, but there are things about him that strike me as odd.  Take today, for example.  He told me last night that he would text me when he woke up today.  It is now 4:17 p.m. and I have yet to hear from him.  I know damn well he’s awake because he’s meeting a friend for dinner and drinks at 6:00 p.m.  So why am I being ignored?  I’ve even texted him twice today.  And this is not the first time this has happened.  I don’t think he’s cheating on me, but it does make him look shady and I don’t know how to broach the subject with him without him thinking that I’m accusing him of something.  Any advice, people?

My gut seems to be pulling me in the opposite direction that it was two months ago.  When we first met, I was swept away by him.  I really, really was.  And there are some days that I still feel that way.  But there’s something underneath that…something weird, something off, something that doesn’t feel right.  And it nags at me just about every day and I don’t know what it is – or if it’s even anything.  I just get the sense that there’s something he isn’t telling me, or something I don’t know. 

Or maybe that’s just him.  And I guess it’s comes down to the simple question of whether or not I can deal with the way he deals with me.

I feel foolish for being so giddy about him.  It’s possible that I was wrong about us, but I still don’t know.  I still know that I’ve never felt that way about ANYONE before – especially after just meeting them.  I loved Pat – and I still do – but I didn’t feel those sparks when I met him.  I just felt…comfortable.  With Scott, I felt like I got suckerpunched right in the gut…except in a good way.  Does that make ANY sense at all?  I felt completely blown away and I just *knew* right at that very moment that THIS WAS IT.  And now maybe I’m thinking….it’s not. 

ARGH!  I’m feeling very stressed out about the whole thing and I have no idea how to handle it or what to do. 

Someone help me, please!