12/4/07

so i’m finding it more and more difficult to hide my dislike for jimmy.  isn’t that awful?  it’s hard for me to even hang out with him, because i’m afraid that i’ll say something or do something and give it all away.  why am i such a horrible person?!

i have to go to his fucking office holiday party on thursday night.  it’s all the way in princeton, and he’s trying to get me to stay at his apartment that night.  um, NO!  i just want to be at home, in my nice, clean, warm bed and i want to be ALONE in it.  i don’t even want to go to this stupid party, and i have to wear a dress and stockings and a stupid shawl with sequins on it.  the shoes i bought KILL my feet and i’m just going to be miserable all night.  *pout*

anyway.  in other news, kristina and i hung out with anthony ercolino on saturday night.  talk about a blast from the past.  he’s still as cute as he always was, and i, of course, still have a thing for him.  although, now that i think about it, it may just be that lately i seem to have a thing for any guy who’s cute.  that, and i want to rip the clothes off of any cute guy i see.  i guess i’m sexually frustrated.  anyway, the point is that i would totally do it with anthony and not feel one shred of regret about it.  haha!  sorry, that was TMI, i know.  it’s like now that i’ve broken up with pat, i want to have sex with every cute boy i see.  is that bad?  or does that just mean i’m human?  i haven’t decided yet.

at any rate, i’ve made sleeping with anthony my new mission.  at the very least, i need to make out with him….if only for old time’s sake. haha!  😉

i’m dying to move out of my house.  all i want is some personal space of my own.  it’s so frustrating to be almost 25 years old and watch all of your friends move out and grow up.  i’m so ready to do these things, but i’m stuck between being a child and being an adult.  because of the choices i made when i was 18 and 19, i am now stuck in a crappy situation with no way out – at least not until i get my degree.  i might be able to afford it now, but i’d have like $100 left over at the end of the month, and what happens if there was some kind of emergency, or if my car needed repairs, or if my school books cost more than i thought they would?  then i’d really be fucked, and aside from that i really wouldn’t be able to save anything.  GUH.  why does my life seem to be just one obstacle after another?!