11/26/07

well, my life has returned to its usual level of boring-ness…as i assumed it would.

i’ve decided that i don’t like jimmy as much as i thought i did.  the best explanation i can come up with for the all-around fantastic-ness of the kiss is basically just that i haven’t kissed anyone new or different in like 3 years.  who wouldn’t feel tingly?  i don’t know.  there’s just something missing.  something’s always kind of been missing with us, though…now that i really think about it.  i mean, i like him well enough.  but there’s no…excitement, no spark.  i get bored quickly when we’re together, and who wants that kind of relationship? 

so now i’ve gotten myself into quite the difficult situation.  jimmy had previously invited me to go with him to his office christmas party, and of course, in my exuberance at finally being free of pat, i agreed.  and now i’m stuck going to a stupid party with boring people…and i have to wear a DRESS.  UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  seriously, it could not get any worse.

sometimes i still miss pat, but i often wonder if it’s just the feeling of someone that i miss.  i miss holding hands and hugging and the sound of someone’s heart beating under my cheek.  but there are, of course, things that i miss specifically about pat.  i miss the way he smelled after a shower and the smell of his clean clothes.  i miss the ways his arms felt around me at night.  but…those things aren’t enough to overshadow what i DON’T miss.  i don’t miss beiung his babysitter while he went out and got drunk.  i don’t miss following him around like a little lost puppy at all of his stupid family gatherings.  i don’t miss being ignored and unappreciated.  i don’t miss the fights.  i don’t miss the fishing trips or pool league or watching him play bass guitar.  i don’t miss hanging out with all of his dirtbag friends.  and that’s how i know that it’s time for me to move on.

jaclyn and jeremy are moving into a new house this week.  jaclyn asked if i would help on thursday, so i said that i would.  we’re taking the day from work.  and the best part is that i get to meet nate…finally.  i have a good feeling about it.  even though i caught a cold from my dad, i have my period, and i have a GIANT zit on my chin.  haha.  but no, seriously…i think it’s going to be fun.  i just want to meet someone who is on my level.  is that really so much to ask for?!?!?!?!?!?!?

school is over until january 1st.  i got an A in my stress management class and an A in my personal self-assessment class.  i’m just waiting for an archaeology grade, which i’m pretty sure is a B.  so that’s good.  i’m proud of myself and of how far i’ve come.  but now i’m bored without school work to do.  i need some friends, i guess.:

that’s pretty much it for now. 🙂