07/07/2009

I met someone.

I’m not sure why I’m even writing about this, considering the fact that I don’t even know if it will work out. But it still feels like a monumental step for me, and so I guess it’s moderately important for me to be able to remember that this is the first time I’ve met someone since Scott destroyed me.

I descended into the bowels of loserdom and signed up for plentyoffish.com. I’m too cheap to pay for sites like match.com and chemistry.com, and plentyoffish is completely – yes, I mean completely – free. So…I signed up, created a profile, and hoped for the best. I got a few e-mails within the first week or so, and one was from a guy named Mike.

This is what he wrote:

Subject: Nice Smile

Just wanted to compliment you on your smile and say hi. Hopefully you’ll check out my profile and want to talk some more. I think it’d be a good idea but it’s up to you.

-Mike

So, I wrote back. We e-mailed back and forth for a week or so, and eventually he asked for my number. I gave it to him; he called; we set up a date and time to meet.

We met at 8:00 on Sunday at Applebee’s for drinks. Before I knew it, the bartender was saying, “last call!” and I looked at my phone and it was a little after midnight. I had a far better time than I ever dreamed. I couldn’t believe it went as well as it did.

During the course of the evening’s conversation, he told me that he was having a good time and that he’d like to hang out again. Of course, I agreed and told him I’d love to see him again. He walked me to my car and as I was reaching to give him a hug goodnight, he leaned in and kissed me. I was shocked…but pleasantly so. It was a good kiss. Not too long, not too short. Timed perfectly. He smiled and said, “I’ll give you a call tomorrow!”

Well, tomorrow was yesterday and he hasn’t called. I know that in guy speak, “tomorrow” actually might mean “in a few days” or “next week” but I’m feeling impatient.

I can’t imagine that he has changed his mind…he friended me on facebook yesterday morning and commented on my wall. Why would he bother if he had changed his mind….right?

I’m overthinking this, aren’t I?
Yeah, I am.

True to form.

I just really want this to work. I like him. I actually like him and I went and got my hopes up and I’m so afraid that he’s going to disappoint me. I can’t take any more disappointments. I just want something to be good. Just once.

Please?

free_spirit_gal

July 7, 2009

I think a key element to finding someone is being happy with yourself. I remember being so anxious about things, and making every guy that was a possibility my reason to live, like, if they didn’t call, I added that to my pain from the past, but I advise you to work on your anxiety and loving yourself first, because I found my boyfriend of now almost 2 years, who really loves me, no joke, when

I was so happy on my own, I didn’t even want anybody. You don’t wanna be with someone just because you need to fill a hole, you wanna be with them because of who they are and what they give you. I guess my experience doesn’t speak for everyone else’s, but in my life, it was proved that it takes me just feeling complete to find someone who ADDS to my life, not someone who fills a hole.

Does that make sense? Please don’t get offended, you have no idea what I’ve been through before figuring this out; many nights of tears, MANY guys who broke my heart, and many tries at finding “the one”. I got so tired of getting hurt and learned so good to be happy on my own, I question ANY relationship and say it’s not worth it to be with ANYONE unless you are happy and they are something more.

But anyway, I hope this works out for u anyway, just do the “self-loving” work anyway, even if u find someone and I promise, u won’t regret it. Sorry for so many comments, I just really identified myself with this. Random Reader

I’m a relatively new reader of yours, but I just wanted to say that you’re doing the right thing in realizing that you are overthinking it. I do it all the time and my best friend, who is a guy, continually has to tell me to stop thinking like a woman. He will call.