02/06/2010
i am disgusted with myself yet again. i have put on a ridiculous amount of weight in the past 6 months. granted, i’m not as heavy as i was at my heaviest, which was 182 pounds. i’m probably close to 10-15 pounds LIGHTER than that. but i still feel fat and disgusting and completely unattractive.
i am going to start weight watchers – AGAIN – on tuesday. i desperately need to start going to the gym again. how did i let myself get this way?
i hate myself and now understand why i am alone. who could ever expect me to love them when i can’t even find a way to love myself?
You know, I’m busy reading my diary from the beginning and I just realised that you are one of my oldest OD friends. Nice. Thank you.
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RYN: well, to tell you the truth, I don’t really remember writing them. That’s one of the reasons I have a diary. I forget things. But it is very likely that I did.
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Good luck hun. It’ll be ok.
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