NoJoMo Day 3

Oy….it’s only day 3 and I’m already struggling…lol.  What to write about….hmmmmmmm.  All that’s on my mind at the moment is my son, and I think that’s because several friends of mine have had babies recently, and all boys!  It takes me back to that day ove 21 years ago….even though I remember it like it was yesterday!

I found out I was pregnant a week before my 21st birthday.  I have never, before of after receiving the news, been more shocked in my entire life!  First, I had had a lot of female issues, and I was told by one doctor that my chances of getting pregnant were incredibly slim.  I went on birth control at age 18, partly because that was when I became sexually active, and didn’t want to get pregnant (this was before the doc’s slim chances diagnosis), and partly because it helped a lot with some of the issues I was having.  Second, I was most definitely not trying to get pregnant….how can you when you’re on the pill??  And I’ll be perfectly honest…..I never saw myself having kids, and truthfully never had the strong desire to have one.  I was prepared to live a child-less life, and I was okay with that. 

God had other plans.

So it’s 1990, I’m living in Virginia Beach, my husband (thankfully now EX-husband) was in the Navy, and his ship was out at sea for a few weeks.  I had made friends with some of the other wives, so I wasn’t too lonely.  One of the wives, Chris, invited me over one night to hang out with her and her kids, have some food, and I ended up spending the night.  Now, a couple of months earlier, I had been treated with antibiotics for a bladder infection, something else that was common in my life.  Bladder, urinary tract, and kidney infections….my constant companions!  Anyway, I woke up the next day at Chris’s house with that horrible pain and burning that only a bladder infection can bring.  I was in agony!  So Chris called NavCare (the Navy clinic for the enlisted and their dependants), told them what the deal was, and they told her to bring me in with a specimen.  Don’t ask me why they couldn’t get the specimen from me there…I have no clue what their deal was.  Chris had to give me one of her cups to piss in, then I had to hold it carefully so as not to spill any while she drove me to the clinic. 

Once I got there I handed over my gift of urine (I try to always bring a gift when I visit someone), answered a few of their questions, then had a seat.  They did ask me when my last period was, and I told them I couldn’t remember, but that that was nothing new because I sometimes went months and months without one.  The guy just nodded and said okay.  Anyway, I’m sitting there with Chris, praying to God they’ll be quick and hand over the antibiotics because I was almost in tears from the pain.  10 minutes later some lady calls me over to her desk and tells me to have a seat.  She tells me yes, you definitely have a bladder infection, a bad one, here’s a prescription for such-and-such antibiotic.  I grabbed it, told her thanks, and jumped up to go get that bad boy filled pronto!  But wait, she says….there’s more!  I sat back down with this confused look on my face….what else could there be?  She then says "We also ran a pregnancy test, and it came back positive." 

Um, WHAT?  How can that be, when I’ve been on the pill?  She asked me had I taken antibiotics recently?  Uh, yeah, for a bladder infection, two or three months ago.  Well guess what?  Antibiotics can render birth control useless!  Wasn’t that nice that NOBODY BOTHERED TO FUCKING TELL ME THAT!!!  But regardless, I now not only had a raging bladder infection, I also had a bun in my oven.  I just kept staring at the nurse, not talking…..my head wasn’t comprehending what she had just told me.  She stood up, gently stood me up, and walked me over to where Chris was sitting and told me to have a seat because someone else would be out to talk to me more about "the situation."  Of course once she walked away, Chris was like, WTF is going on??  She saw my face, heard the nurse say "the situation," and got scared to death.  I just started repeating "oh my God" over and over again.  I swear, I said it 100 times.  In the middle of that 100 repeats, I looked at Chris and blurted out, "I’m pregnant!"  Then the repeat of OMG started over again, Chris was hugging me, and then I started crying. 

I’ll be honest, I didn’t know what I felt.  I was terrified, I was elated, I was scared shitless, I was confused….you name it, I felt it.  I was confused, because like I said, having a child wasn’t something I had planned on.  I was scared because I knew deep down that my husband was a complete loser and probably woudn’t be around for the long haul (and he didn’t disappoint).  I contemplated abortion and adoption.  I prayed I would be wrong and that my husband would change and be the husband and father I needed him to be.  I thought about life as a single mother.  I was a wreck.

Okay, that’s all I can do for today….my dinner is finally here! 🙂  I’ll pick up tomorrow, promise.  Much love!! xoxo