My Princess… It’s Okay To Cry

I see how hard you try to handle your heart, and I know you want to live a life without heartaches or pain.
I’m asking you to take a step closer to your Father in heaven by crying out to Me when you hurt.
Let Me heal you.
Remember My chosen, King David?
He cried out to Me in his fears, disappointments, and sin, and I answered.
You are also My chosen one, and you are My daughter… so it’s okay to cry.
I don’t expect you to pretend that pain is not real.
It is truth and tears that will give you the freedom that I want you to know.
Now let go of that part of your heart that only I can heal.
Let your heavenly Daddy hold you while you cry.
Love,
Your King who wipes away your tears

Okay guys. So I went to church tonight for the first time in a long time and I told myself that this was sort of a last chance between me and God. I was basically saying, if he has something for me, then by all means, show me now that I’m important on some level. Well, to say he did would be an understatement.

I know loads of people on the planet aren’t fans of God and for a while there I wasn’t either. But we all have our issues and we all think he’s smokin’ somethin’ good to put us through some of the things only movie stars portray. So anyway, I spoke to God while inside my head my eyes were rolling. I sort of toned out the message my youth pastor was speaking on (Prayer is important) thinking that this wasn’t something that God could use to get my attention/if he was really the God everyone said he was, then he should be able to pull something more impressive out the hole; wouldn’t you agree? 

Jake, the youth pastor, says something crazy and grabs my attention with some words I can’t remember because I started crying. Eventually I’m balling and end up following my friend to the alter. As soon as I thought, "Okay God, this is it. No more, I’m not impressed," Jake pointed to me and beckoned me to the front of everyone at the alter. He began praying over me and saying things I felt that I NEVER told him. He mentioned things that pointed to exactly what I was feeling, things I haven’t told anyone but myself. How could he know that if it wasn’t God? He couldn’t. Let’s just say when he confessed those things and began releasing them I couldn’t stop the tears. I was crying so hard my face was burned red and my make-up was gone. I never let myself get that bad in front of people. NEVER. I always try to get stay neat and cute when I’m around people I respect. The last thing on my mind was losing my cool.

Well…I’ve got a friend over so I can’t stay on much longer. Plus we’ve got an appointment with Alan Rickman, Hugh Grant, and the rest of the Love Actually staff.