2/13/22: Superbowl Sunday

Today was a hard day for me. We got back to campus at 6 am this morning. Riding on the bus was terrible. I slept on the floor in the walkway and tried to pass the time. It was really hard to do. When I got back I dropped my stuff off at my dorm and had to rush to urgent care to care for my uti. I did not get back to my dorm and lay down until 9 am. I was so exhausted. I napped, cleaned up my room, did laundry, and played with my kitty. My team was planning a party to celebrate the end of the season and the Super Bowl. I was planning on going, but looking to carpool or walk with somebody. Out of 8 messages, only one person replied. They were walking from their house which is far from campus. This really bothered me because I always respond and try to be conscientious of other people and their feelings. I sent a message saying how I felt and they said they were busy and were not planning to go. Now I look on my Snapchat and see their stories… all together at the party. I feel like I don’t belong on my own team. Nobody appreciates or cares about me. People say they do or they “love” me, but I know that is all just surface level and for show. It just sucks because it makes me feel like absolute shit about myself. I don’t understand why people can’t be a little nicer? I always try to include everyone but nobody returns the favor. So now I will watch the game alone…

-The struggling college freshman