meta-cognition and dreams

I had a series of dreams that are definitely worth writing down, even though I need to go take a shower and I’ve already forgotten most of the details of the dreams.

In one, I dreamed that Elizabeth Broady was trying to kill me. it was a drawn-out, dramatic scene. I don’t remember how or why or how it ended. but at some point, I thought, “this is odd, because haven’t I dreamed before that Erin Kelly was trying to kill me?” it makes sense, but I hadn’t made the connection before the dreams. in high school, Erin Kelly was the girl I was jealous of, the girl I wanted to beat. she was a star in the English classes, and always got along well with the teachers. I wanted that to be ME.

in college, Elizabeth Broady was the girl to beat. she had been working for the psychology department year-round almost every year of undergrad. senior year, I started to work there, and I to really get to know the professors. but I always knew that liz knew more about the job than me and had been friendly with the professors longer than me.

so what does it meaned that I dreamed that the two girls who made me jealous had tried to kill me? must be that I became good enough to be a threat to them.

then I dreamed that I was with Katie, my therapist in undergrad, and I was telling her about this dream. (or some other dream that I’ve forgotten.) when I finished telling her the dream, she burst out exactly what she believed to be the true meaning of the dream – instead of helping me work out the dream. I hadn’t made the connection, but she thought that it was really about her and me and our changing relationship. it all made total sense (I REALLY wish I could remember it), but I was annoyed that she hadn’t let me talk about what I thought the dream meant.

then is was like katie was my mother – we were in her bedroom in the old house. she was sorting things, and I was wondering if I should bring up the things that I still wanted to talk to her about. so I brought up the neck pain. the basically told me, in a lot more words, to just deal with it (ha, sounds more like my mom than katie).

writing all of this would have been a lot more purposeful if I could actually remember the dreams! oh well.