comforting my dreams

I had a dream about mrs. hewig this morning, my high school english teacher hero, so I thought I would write it down before I forgot.

my class was actually more of a preschool class. we were sitting around two small art tables. there were toys on shelves lining the room. we had just finished an art project – it was probably basically scribbling with crayons. mrs. hewig sat down in front of us to read us a story.

it was a true mrs. hewig story – one that meant so much to her that she just had to share it. it was written by a writer/english teacher about her classroom. I listened intently, though I noticed that one of the girls couldn’t stop playing with things and kept getting into trouble. mrs. hewig kept shushing her. I wondered why the girl couldn’t just listen to the wonderful story.

I only remember the closing line of the story, when the smartest child walked up to the teacher and said, “mrs. so-and-so, I didn’t learn anything in your class.” I smiled at the ending, thinking instantly that it was sarcasm, and watched as mrs. hewig stood and walked over to the other table. everyone at that table had toys out, and I was shocked. I hadn’t noticed, but not a single person over there was listening! I kept pondering the closing sentence – was it sarcasm? or was it honesty? was it some sort of irony?

I do remember two people in the class – the girl who fidgeted was kristin, the girl who graduated from hanover and I ran into at the mall friday. one of the girls at the table that was playing was erin kelly, who always sort of felt like my rival in high school english.

I feel so comforted, so soothed to remember that I dreamed about mrs. hewig. I’ve been thinking lately that I should send her another letter. I write her at least once a year, though she has never written me back. I used to visit her as well, but I haven’t done that in a couple years.

now, what does the dream mean? it quite obviously means that I learned from mrs. hewig, while others apparently didn’t. does it mean anything about the classroom I am teaching right now? maybe it means that in some way I should strive to be great, as mrs. hewig was great to me. so far, I certainly have not been doing that. I have been wondering what these kids can really learn in my room – they’re so young, there is so much that they aren’t ready to learn yet.

today is my planning day (and I hope I actually get around to it at some point), so it is somehow fitting that I dreamed about mrs. hewig in a child classroom.

I was going to go to church today. I got up for it, but I was so tired. I spent a few minutes deciding: drag myself to a new church, or miss this one sunday that I can go for the next few weeks? I haven’t been to church since may, and I’m going home again next weekend, and maybe the one after that. but if I go today and I’m too tired, it could be torture to listen to a sermon and meet tons of people all by myself.

so I went back to bed, stayed there until noon, and dreamed about mrs. hewig.