awakened my tears

I woke up at 6 a.m. this morning, sobbing over a bad dream. I considered getting out of bed to write it down, but I decided I was just too tired, and hoped I’d still remember the dream in two hours.

in the dream, I was at someone’s house – family or friend – with a large group of both family and afriends. I went upstairs to change clothes. it was a full attic, with tons of clothes and other things. my cousin audra followed me, but I insisted that she could not come in until I was done. she kept bugging me from outside the door. she finally left, and I thought I’d have peace. I explored for a few minutes, and was over near the clothes again when the door burst open with half a dozen of my friend and family my own age – boy and girl – all of them laughing and proud of themselves for finding a way in. I was standing without any pants on, and I was livid. I screamed at them to get out now, or I was going straight home.

they did leave, and I stood there crying. I couldn’t believe they barged in on me, after I told them not to! didn’t they know? didn’t they know that they just can’t do that to me? I didn’t want to go home, but I was so upset and angry that I didn’t see another option.

my mom came in. she started talking to me gently about my friends’ good intentions. she was so gentle, peaceful, quiet, and close. I trusted her, I loved her, and I listened to what they had to say.

I think I started to wake up slowly – slowly enough that I started to realize that I was waking up before I realized that this dream didn’t have power over me. I began to sob, which truly did wake me up.