Keeping it positive

The last couple of weeks have been good.

My first therapy session went well. Marianne (counsellor) gave me a lot to think about and good tips to implement to stop me getting in to the state I’ve been finding myself in. She suspects I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder, which wasn’t a surprise, but I suppose it helps me deal with how I feel when it gets unbearable.

The best thing I took away from the session was learning how to stop what I call ‘falling down the rabbit hole’ with dark thoughts. Marianne reminded me that I am in control. I’ve started using breathing techniques every few hours to combat the day to day anxiety and I have to admit, it is helping a lot. I even managed to go to a social event (something I had been dreading for weeks) have a reasonably good time and reduce the negative after thoughts that usually plague me for days afterwards. My self-esteem still needs a lot of work, but I’m aware of  it and trying, which is the most important thing. Taking it a day at a time.

Joe and I are still trying to get pregnant. We had a false alarm a few weeks ago, which was disappointing, but I’m hoping that if I can keep myself in a better place mentally it will improve my chances. I’ve also set myself a little goal to loose a bit of weight so my diet has been getting an overhaul. I had become a junk food vegetarian, so it’s back to cooking from scratch and lots of fruit and veg. I made an amazing leek, onion and pepper risotto last weekend. Tonight we are having lentil bolognaise. I always forget how much I love being in the kitchen, but cooking is definitely one of my favourite things to do. My friend sent me a link to an amazing website with lots of tasty recipes: https://www.feastingathome.com. It’s given me lots of inspiration. I’ve also been doing some gardening. My dad dropped off some lovely pots he had filled for us and bedding plants, so I’ve been trying to add some colour to the garden. I’ve taken some photos of my efforts ( not the best quality)