My own biggest fan

Man I came home tonight and I was like dude!…Its smells like ribs, awesome Im stealin me some of those muthas. And I was like dude Jake wheres the ribs? Long story short this guy saw somethin he shouldnt have, ya gotta get ridda evidence somehow, so hes not with us anymore.

Im like the idea man yo. Like BAM BAM BAM Oh shit what was that, BAM another idea. So for my first non tampon related art exhibit, its gonna be a cubicle taken from a huge office and stick it in a art gallery. And have a guy come in at 8 am sit in front of a computer and leave at 5. Or, have a guy come in and sit at his desk, constantly look at the clock, pick up the phine and read a quick passage from Hamlet, when noon hits a million bells go off and wild turkeys drop from the ceiling and claw him viciously then he looks at the clock again, then he conveys the weight of the world crushin him and he breaks down and crys for a couple minutes, then he looks at the clock, then he passionatley strokes a gun under his desk and chants “soon….soon….soon” then he looks at the clock, then a bell rings and he salavates, then more phone, more shakespere, then he just starts singin sunshine day by the Brady bunch.

I also had this idea fer a reality show, ala Joe Schmoe but not in any legally binding way. So this army of militant cops bust into this dingy third world home at 3 am. They shove his kids and wife around then drag his brown ass out. For the first episode they dont tell him anything. Just throw him in a cell and wake him up by spraying him with a hose.

Then they start telling him he was involved in a terrorist plot and he will never see his family again. Will Mohamed confess? Find out next week. They throw him in Gutuanamo Bay, beat him daily, and towards the middle of the series tell him his daughter died.

“We the jury find the defendent….(NExt Week) Find the defendent…..Hiiiiiighlarious. Mohamad this has all been a tv show. Congratulations my friend you are….the star of yer own reality show.

“If you never encounter anything in your community that offends you, you are not living in a free society

hahahaaaaaa I would totally watch that show. but yer ribs are not funny NAY they are ticklish, a’la elmo but in a non-legally binding way have you read anthem yet?

Sad Angel

hahaha talk bout your roommates giving you false hopes…thats why they should make incense sticks with the smell of cinnimun buns so you can burn them and give your fellow roomies false hopes. aint that just a shame, man. F*CKERS!

dancing in plastic

March 16, 2004

can i be a part of your art exhibit?

Stoone

dude, that would be a friggin REAL reality show. no script, no acting…just some poor mohammed guy, sh*ttin his pants and confessing that he really WAS part of a terroristic act…i could so imagine that happening. I AM OSAMA BIN LADEN. f*ckers, take THAT. “phone” is spelled with an “o” not an “i”. you spelled it wrong the first time. you will never find the planet of the threeway sex.sorry

vndttrd

“if your family wants to see you aive they’ll send the money” “oh i dunno they’ve been seeing me alive for free for a while now” AHAHA thats f*ckin funny thats from the simpsons oh and something about turkeys read my latest entry it’ll bore you probably ~ heather

your unintelligible babbly babbling self is….well….unintelligible. are you high? quit yer babblin. I like lotion. I’m wearing a short skirt. I read books. I eat gum. Blaaaaaaah. I might stay for a day there if I had my wish, but there’s not much to do when your friends are all fish, and an oyster and clam aren’t real family… so I don’t want to live in the sea.

what I meant to say was. your comments about iraq and the war etc etc were completely stupid, unfounded, and TAKE THAT BACK! boo you. yay me.

jeeeeeesus 5:09? what time do your ass get off work?! and by work I mean reading porographic emails and collaberatin on stories.

pffffffffft like I care. F8ck you, man.

March 18, 2004

hey i figured out how swiss cheese got its holes…its from the bacteria in it that creates bubbles as it dries when its a paste. and when you slice it it looks like holes so suck my knowledge ~ heather

March 21, 2004

ryn: aaaaaand why do you hate me now? i think i did figure something out and piss on you if you dont like that and ya kno what? i AM clever….b*tch…hmph ~ heather

mesohippus

May 11, 2004

you crack me up – good point with the show