Line in the sand!

I havent gone christmas shoppin yet cause theres still plenty of time and I dont wanna rush shit, but Erin has her present fer me here and Im strugglin with how much I should spend on her cause I dont want it to be to cheap in comparison or to expensive. Its in a shoebox and it makes a lil noise when ya shake it so there is weight to it but its like a wacky Seinfeld episode.

Anndy: …then I look to cheap.
Jesse: Its a christmas dillema.

Anndy: I dont need this kind of pressure.
Anderson: Thats easy, just look.
Jesse: Look?
Anderson: Didnt ya ever look at gifts when you were a kid?
Anndy: Im not gonna look.
Anderson (Jeff): You can always buy her a duck mount?
Anndy: A duck mount?
Jesse: Duck mount?
Anderson: Oh yea. A mounted mallard to stick up on her mantle.
Anndy: You want me to give her a dead animal.
Jesse: You cant put a price on that.
Anderson: My uncle was a hunter and gave me one when I was five. Scared the hell outta me. I couldnt sleep in that romm till I was 12.

BEEP

Jesse: YEa
Heather: Its me
Jesse: Come up.

ACT II

Im eating and spot the present. I grab it. Shake it a bit. Start to pull the tape a lil on the side. The paper rips a lil. careful careful rip rip. I see its designer coffee box. I told her 1 month before I have to quit coffee.

Act III

Jesse: Ya looked????
Anndy: Iiiiiiiiiii looked.
Jesse: And?
Anndy: Coffee Jesse.
Jesse: She got ya coffee?!
Anndy: Ohhhhhh she got me coffee!
Jesse: Well its obvious what happened, she bought the gift before ya quit.
Anndy: And?! So I should be punished because she went christmas shoppin early this year!? Ya dont say to an alcholic here I bought this bottle of champagne for ya before ya quit cause the liquor store was havin a New years sale.
Jesse: Some people go early.
Anndy: Theres early and theres to early. Na uh, no more Jesse. We shouldnt have to bow down to these early shoppers anymore. Im drawin a line in the sand.
Jesse: A line in the sand?
Anndy: A line in the sand!
Anderson: Im telling ya go with the duck mount. Ya know when ya buy the mount he throws in the meat for free.
Anndy: …Ya know Ive never tried duck. ….Allright duck mount it is!
Jesse: So yer gonna give a gift based on your curiosity for the way an entree tastes?
Anndy: Line in the sand!!!

BEEP

Jesse: Yea
Heather: Its me.
Jesse: Come up

Act IV

Christmas Eve with her family

Erin: Anndy here open this one from me.
The wrapping is mangled.
Anndy: Great (open it) Ohhh hey, flavored coffee gift pack.
Erin: Ha look inside silly.
Anndy: …Oh my god. Its a watch.
Erin: Of course whatd you think it was really coffee? You told me you had to quit. Besides that Id have to be pretty cheap to get coffee for my boyfriend for christmas.
Anndy: Heh…yea.
Erin: Actually Im lucky I found it, I just went shoppin a couple days ago and the store was nearly picked clean. Now here, lemme open yers.
Opens present and everyone stares
Anndy: I got another gift for you in my freezer. Are you hungry?

BA DOO DOO BUM BI DA BIP BA BA DOO

Fuck man I could write a sitcom see look at that shit. How to write a sitcom for network television: 1 part hack script, 2 parts washed up actors, mix vigorously in a big bowl of American people who will watch anything. I wonder if Corey Feldman and Tina Yothers can get time off from Blockbuster to work on the project.