KF See Whats cookin

“Things will get better Andy. I’m now refinancing the house, so I’m alone in $81,000 in debt on the house again. Your young Andy, everything will sooner or later work out. We went through a lot of hard times, and we all are still making it.”

My mom sent me that via email. Thats the nicest thing shes ever said to me. We have the most pleasent conversations now that I stopped talkin to her.

I think Ive stumbled onto some kinda radical new therapy treatment. So advanced…So….FUCKING….advanced, that even I cant really understand it. It has something to do with just not talking to people.

“Oh Sounds easy”

Yea well, sound again. From what I could decipher from what I scrawled on my wall during one of my blackouts, step A is getting Oprah to endorse it on her show. The rest breaks down as the patient comes in, I drink a fordy, the patient asks how exactly this works, I pull from my cigarette, say “Thats on a need to know basis”, I stare at them for 38 seconds then say “….and you dont fuckin need to know…got me”.
Then at some point I start sayin “Pantaloones… Pantalooooooooones. Isnt that a weird word? Pantalooooooooooooone. Here get up, now lets pretend were in a really bad 80’s nintendo game. Ok picture a menu coming up with a 1 or 2 player option and when I say fight hum the music to Mike Tyson’s Punchout…do you have it? Ok….Pantaloone Fury, Caching! Round One….FIGHT!”

Then well get up and choppily jump back and forth in an awkward fighting position.