Jesse’s cat needs a good peein on

Hmmmmm So our neighbors complained about us not cuttin the lawn three fuckin days in a row. Fuckkkkkk me jesus. How can someone fuckin care that much. And they didn’t complain to fuckin us they complained toour fuckin landlord. I want to bleed our neighbor and force him to renounce his faith in god.

So I wrote a letter and Im gonna send it to em all but I think it might be reachin the insane threshhold. It might even surpass my insane thresh hold. And mine is juuuust this side of “he is a danger to himself and others.” Its not even funny really I just want em to feel bad. I havent decided if Im gonna send it or not but Im guessin I will. If I don’t send it, nothin happens, life stays boring. If I do send it then maybe shit will happen. And maybe….just maybe…..Ill get sympathy cake, Score muafucka!

Dear friends,

As of late I have let the lawn go much to long without mowing. The landlord had called three consecutive days informing us that one of our neighbors had called him three consecutive days to complain. I wanted to appologize personally, but the land lord would not tell me who had called, so I am sharing this with all of you in hopes I can make things right. I am writing this letter to inform you of how truly sorry I am for what I have done to you.

In a way, I can relate to your pain. You see, three weeks ago the doctors discovered I have a malignant tumor which they believe may be inopperable. And then, early last week my mother died. Please don’t misunderstand me, I in no way wish to make light of what you have had to go through.

Had you come over and asked me to mow my lawn I could have possibly explained to you that the initial medication the doctors have put me on makes me nasueaus and drowsy and that I had intended on asking a relative if they would mow my lawn when I went to my mother’s funeral. However, I understand the inconvience that would have been.

On the third day the landlord called, he informed me that if the lawn was not mowed that day, that he would have to mow it and he would have to charge $100. At first this seemed like the perfect solution, and although I am wrought with guilt over what I am about to say, I wish to be honest. I selfishly decided the money would be better spent on upcoming medication bills. So I myself, did mow the lawn.

Although, I know in no way will this letter alievate the pain you have had to endure, I want you to understand, that if necessary, and I begin receiving chemo, as it is being shot into my veins my thoughts will be on my remorse. And my prayers will be that someday I will receive forgiveness for what I have done to your hopitable, humble, suburban community.

Andrew Allen