Im old. Thanksolding

Its wicked cold here.  So I have a kid and an ol lady and my life is basically done.  But that ol lady and lil kid whos just so neat are gone for the night which is aweeeeeesome.   Because anytime she asks me what do you want for holiday x all I can think of is For you to go away for awhile, so let’s make that happen.  So shes gone and I play some Fallout, awesome, and the I start watching Live Free or Die Hard (awesome name for a sequel at this point in the series) and the guy who played the PC in those commercials yaps about "What is this, this is lame" and Bruno is like dude this is CCR and PC guy is like "pff, dumb." and I thought pfff you’re dumb, Fortunate Son, Born on the Bayou, those are good songs dummy.  And then I realized how like, Im old now.  Everyone I interact with is 5-10 years younger than me so they never get any of my references.  And if a Fortune 500 stock goes down I get really excited cause I can buy more knowing itll go up. 

And that somehow got me thinking about The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.  That was the worst movie I have ever seen.  But it got like really good reviews!  It makes no sense.  Its like conspiracy theory, biggest scam perpetrated on the public ever.  Like they must have put thousands of people to work saying good things about it.  I mean, that movie probably caused crippling depression in me that will onset at some point.  Come on!  Hey, that guy built a clock that runs backwards, a guy gets younger as he ages, no one finds this interesting, and then Katrina hits.  I mean what the fuck!  God the plot holes in that movie and the many, many, many pieces that were in the movie for no reason.  Fuck that movie.  Worst movie ever.  God, if someone does happen to be reading this, PLEASE tell me what you thought of it especially if you liked it cause I just dont get it. 

So yeah anyways, Im old, fuck Benjamin Button, and here’s other things about that make me old…

1. I think Wanted Dead or Alive and Blaze of Glory by Bon Jovi are awesome and if push came to shove I would say "Yes, Im a bon Jovi fan" strictly for those two songs, but thats how awesome I think they are.

2. I went to a doctor and he recommeded I take fish oil pills.

3. I thought of making like a thing that was mine and rockin some kinda new thing so as I was passing some 60ish year old lady the other day through a doorway, I grabbed the bill of my hat and tipped it a bit and said "ma’am".  (Which, that actually makes me awesome and not old cause thats dope to bring that kinda thing back)  And man that lady was happy.  It was a baseball cap though.  So I think Im gonna try wearing a top hat from now on to do this.  No bigger than 18 inches.  Cause thats whats known as "The Gent;emen’s Measure" in top hat circles.  Or it should be anyway.  Sidenote: The Gentlemen’s Measure was the name of my three piece jazz band in high school. 

4.  I am worht a lot in life insurance.

5. I dont know what the fuck Justin Beiber is, what his appeal is, why I should care, I want to somehow stop him, and if someone gave me a petition to sign Id sign it instead of saying, what is a petition? 

6. I tried to buy a cell phone from someone who was 18.  Holy shit, if you ever wanna feel old.  "Wait, I gotta pay $40 a month for internet on this phone?  Thats weird, I already pay like $40 at home.  So people like actually do this?"  Blank fucking stare, then a personal moment about, "Dude, how the fuck can you keep up with your facebook page if you dont have this", me thinking umm I dont give a fuck about facebook, and then another blank stare.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnd so on.