Fuck you Gillinhalls

If I had a shitload of money I’d get into the movie business.  Then Id buy the rights to the biggest blockbuster love story ever and direct it.  Then Id cast Jake and Maggie Gillinhall as the leads.  Man how awesome would that be. 

"Jake, its your agent.  I got good news and bad news.  You got the part!!  The bad news?  Well, keep an open mind but ya know, Maggie, your sister, they were insistent on her playing your love interest."

Ha!  act through that fuckers! 

"Action……no, no, no cut!  Come on!  Where’s the passion!  What do ya mean it’s awkward?!  Youre actors!  act god damn it.  Oh you cant?  Then youre shitty actors, youre fucking fired, get out!"

Awesome.  Ahhhh, and ok, this scenario somehow happens, here’s my gaurenteed prediction for what’s said.

"Jake, Jake, E! News.  Dude?  Your new movie?  Your sister?"

"Ummmmmmm, Im a thespian.  An actor.  When i step in front of that camera Im not Jake Gillinhall.  Im Marvin Thomas, down on his luck alcholic carpenter.  It’s not me making out with Maggie, it’s the CHARACTER, because I become that character, because Im an actor."

Man, fuck Jake Gillinhall.  Douche bag.  I hate actors.  As of just now.  And why doesnt Target have cupholders on their cart?  That’s bullshit, ya got a Starbucks right in the store.  Walkin around pushin the cart one handed spillin coffee all over the other hand.  My baby just bailed on a modeling job for Target.  Yeah, that’s how fuckin rad my baby is.  True story.  Picked for an audition, got audtion pictures taken, they picked him, theyre like yeah come in itll be add for baby shoes.  You might not see his face in the ad.  Ummmmm, Conor doesnt work under those conditions.  Conor needs face time or jam it in your butt. 

I think they picked him cause hes not like your typical fat baby.  Hes fit.  Hes trim.  Like ya know that infomercial My Baby Can Read?  Im gonna make one with Conor called My Baby Has Abs.  Your baby can read?  Yeah, my baby has abs.  Your fat baby can read a magazine with my awesome baby on the cover in swimwear.  And in my video theres a baby reading and my baby comes in and slaps the book outta the other babies hands and shoves him down.  Then rip open his shirt.  Then freeze frame of his baby Whats Up face and then the words "ABS" comes onto the screen.  Yup.  My baby has abs.  Buy it.