Frog

Attention, achtung, Ive decided to write something.  Right here.  I should probably include a picture too.  That might be fun.  Hmmm so I eliminated poverty in Botswana.  Just told em, Hey, non christian heathen, ya just gotta get off your fatasses, get out there, shake stuff up.  300 people die in your villiage from typhoid fever?  Tragedy?  Oppurtunity.  Make a t-shirt that says, "To the 300, we will never forget."  slap a dead childs face on it, and imply to those you see not wearing one that they dont care that those 300 people died.  Then I clasped my hands together a lot and said "…Synergy."

In the summer, it turns out beards make ya hot. But ya know what though, someday Im going to be a dad. I’ll most likely beat my kid. Whenever he back talks me or whenever its warm out. But thats not where I was goinng with this. When Im a dad, all my pictures will look like all my various uncles pictures from the 70’s with the long hair, bushy beards, and weird giant not quite black glasses. More like tinted brown. Cause everytime I see those pictures Im like man my uncles were cool, yo! And then 20 years from now my kid will be looking through a photo album with some of their 18 year old preferably female asian classmates and theyll be like, damn your dad was cool, yo! Im going to go change. In his room. I know hes taking a nap but I’ll be quiet.

Huh?? Good thinkin right. Its called an investment. I take pictures of me in a beard, 20 years from now Im nailin hot 18 year olds.

I shaved my beard and cut my hair.  And finally I look like everyone else.  All I need is one of those shirts with a lil horsey on it.  And I have some god damn beautiful eyes.  And my head itches.  And I should shower.

OH!  OH!  ….OH!  Fuckin Mike.  So his dumbass got married cause hes a dumbass.  So were at his wedding last weekend which is outdoors, hot as Botswana in June.  The ending song that they marched off the stage to was the song from the final scene in Star Wars where the rebel alliance is all lined up and Han and Luke march up to get medals.  So yea, that was cool. 

So Mikes Beck is Zack Wilde, (An SAT question would be Beck is to Anndy as Zack Wilde is to ?.  A:  Mike.)  lead guitar for Black Label Society and old lead guitar for Ozzy.  So, knowing that Mike’s hero is Zack Wilde the best man bought Mike a two hour guitar lesson with him.  Which also amkes Zack Wilde a giant whore.  Thats so fuckin gay that cool shit like this happens to everyone else but me.  Yea why do I fuckin deserve anything cool like that I only fuckin saved an ass backwards indiginous population from starvation and homelessness.