Drunk on a moderate amount of power

So I was at work today and my boss is like, We need to talk. So she takes me into a conference room and shuts the door. Shes NEVER done that. Im like fuck, bad shits bout to go down Im gettin fired. Turns out though, I fuckin got a promotion and a fat raise. But man when I first got into that room I grabbed my piece and was like allright the second she sits down Ill fuckin pistol whip her into unconsciousness, and calmly go back to my desk. When she comes to shell have massive head trauma, and thatll buy me like another 3 weeks before they realize Im still workin here.

Luckily she told me standin up. Woooo, that a been embarrassin. Visitin her in the hospital,

“Heh…..Just kiddin.”

THats dope yo, I got people under me now.

Literal…

SHUT UP!

If dope was a town, this thing would be mayor. Or supreme chancellor. I decided to celebrate by gettin a grand kid. I dont want a kid but were livin in the age a biogenetics. Its like Burger King, have it yer way. “You dont offer a package where I can get a grandchild but not a child do ya?”

We do now, theyll say and shake my hand. Wat I figure it they can take my sperm, cause I got tons of the shit, Make me a kid, take sperm from him, throw my kid away and make me a grand kid. Im gonna have em make him like 12 years old too. So I can go to his birthday parties and look at his present like “…..Pffffff, DV Deeeeeeeeeeeees. When I was yer age if we wanted entertainment wed catch birds! And dress em up…..make em act out stories about the cival war. We didnt have none of this….this, fancy….Telo vision.”

“….Granpa, you clearly never did that and that was like 10 years ago, they had tv.”

“SHUT UP YA LIL BASTARD WERE GOIN FISHIN!”

Then on the way to the lake Id point at every buildin and tell him that didnt used to be there. Thats all my grampa does. Everytime Im in the car with him he points out the window and says “See that? All used to be land. Thats all it was. Land as far as the eye could see.”

From what I understand from my grampa there was absolutley no free standing structures forty years ago.