Color me bored

So I was thinkin, if I was gay who would I be datin right now. Its important to know these things and this actually took me a lot longer than I thought. Right away it came down to a choice between Mike and Jesse. Not fer asthetic reasons so much, although Mikes a pretty man hes gettin a gut though. If I was was his old lady Id be ridin him to work out.

“Big Mac? I dont think so princess, he will have the salad.”

“…..But I dont want the salad.”

“Heh, you never know what ya want, quick smack on the ass and go get us a table.”

Eventually itd come to blows. We have good fights. He wins some, I win some.  Cornerstone of relationships.

Me and Jesse would never fight, hed be a lot like Aidan. Just a whiny walk all over him nice guy bitch. Cept hed talk about video game crap. Speakin of Aidan and Sex and the City, I am so more Mr. Big than Aidan. I am the guy girls cheat on there Aidans with. But still Id be in charge of the me and Jesse relationship hands down. And Id probably cheat on him with some random slut.

Ma and Jake, pretty man, Id kill him in his sleep bugs the piss outta me by not doin anythin. Well yea and long term, he doesnt have a job, Ill be damned if Im workin fer two. Oh I didnt even factor in the success aspect. That would put Jesse in the lead. Guenther..*cringe* even in the world of gay what ifs that scares me.

Jeff- Jeff would make a better pet than a same sex life partner. Hes really just around fer amusement. The kid gets hammered alone and does the robot, I mean hes like just this side of bein my hero.

Alex- Hands down wins the award for Best hair for a friend category in the me awards. I couldnt take him in a fight though, no way, so ferget that.

Damn actually goin through the list of friends I have in my head, it amazes me that these people are married. Maybe thats the reason Im not gay cause man it is a sad crop. But still Id be more willin to try bein gay if my male friends had vaginas.

In any event, I think Id choose Mike because we watch exactly the same shit on TV. Hey did ya see that show on Comedy Cen…

Ohhh yea dude the one about the midget in the ferris wheel?

HA! yea…..fuckin midgets.

Cept Smallville. Thats a me alone thing. I wonder if thatd make me the effiminate one. BUT, Im the one who watches sports. So I wonder if thatd make him the effimanate one. Now see this is why I cant be gay its just way to confusin.