Anus…damn near killed em

Man theres too much stuff on tv.  Im so confused.  Got like 8 reminders.  I dont have that many picture in picture.  Ahh shes a bitch goddess that digital cable, she give with one hand…aye…and she take away with her other.  Ya gotta respect her.  Shes like the ocean. 
>Wanna know what you could decide on what wed watch if you were here.  If you were here you would be a lucky lucky girl.  Heres our choices.
>NBA Basketball Wolves vs. That team with the 12 foot asian gentlemen.  No more yankee Dong wankee, da Donger need food. 
>That 70’s Show.  Not as good anymore. 
>Call Me:  The Heidi Fleiss story.  Damn Ive been watchin this fer about 2 minutes and we got a lotta dirty sex goin on, which puts this in the lead.
>WWE Raw.  Shaddap
>Jerry Seinfeld Biography.  Im just kinda takin notes fer my biography.  Seein what works, what doesnt
>Anonomously Yours.  Some Sundance movie about the under ground sex trade in asia.
>House of 1000 Corpses.  And they already showed the part where Sheri Moons pajama bottoms are fallin down so meh. 
>So there ya go.  Actually if you were here Id probably just smoke.  Play guitar and tell ya how the world keeps screwin me. 
>> have a crush on a paralegal from South Carolina.  Rawr.  She wants me.  Rawr,  Shes hot.  Rawr.
>Think Ill play the Sims.  THat lil guys havin all the fun.  I gotta live vicariously through him. 
>Little Shoulder Devil:  “No one has to know.  Just bury the evidence.”
>Shoulder Angel:  “Ohhhh Im gonna tell!”
>Devil:  “THE HELL YOU WILL!”  *harpoons angel with pitchfork*  “Now w