Amen

It finally happened. I think I became sexually aroused while watching them make my fajita at Chipotle today. Woo, lawdy. “Mmmm more carnitas…..yea….Add cheese, add cheese! UH! ….Get out of my house.”

“Que?”

“Sorry, force of habit.”

Did you know I actually spend more money at Chipotle per week then I spen on cigarettes? I thought about quitting smoking a couple times strictly to save money. So that makes for quite the “quandry”.

Chipotle has 1250 calories per burrito and 45 grams of fat. I don’t know what that means but if I’m to listen to Jared of Subway, that’s a shitload of fat.

The people at Chipotle know me and say Capasa main, or coma estas amigo, or whatever else it is they they jibber away at me in their heathen unchristian language, when I’m ordering.

Chipotle makes me want to commit hate crimes against McDonalds and other fast food resteraunts.

Putting a Chipotle fajita in a bag and hitting a two year old in the head with it, will make it so the child can no longer recognize simple shapes.

Chipotle Fajitas are the same size as my penis if I am warm and 1 inch longer if I’m chilly.

I got a $50 Chipotle card for Christmas, refilled it with another $50, and there’s nothing left in my Chipotle account.

I’ve considered changing my hours at work so I can get to Chipotle before the line starts to form.

Chipotle could solve the problems in the middle east by offering the people Chipotle and the possibility of more Chipotle if they give up their guns. Enevitably however, it would be a complete abuse of power in which all dissension and disobediance to the state would be killed by witholding of Chipotle rations, and that’s why communism doesn’t work. In addition, the people wouldn’t have guns to fight to get their chipotle back. I dare anti-gun liberals to envision that scenario and try to sleep.

If Chipotle asked me to bring my first born son to the top of a mountain and kill him to prove my faith, I would do it.

Some people find Jesus, I found Chipotle.