Ahhh, you can really taste the goat

Man I just never could understand buisness casual dress bein mandatory in closed office where no customers ever come through. Meh but what am I gonna do start my own company?

……………………………………….DAMN SKIPPY! And theres gonna be whores! And blackjack and firetrucks and oral sex and puppies and Macaronni and cheese! And someone will come in late and his manager will say DAVIS! Your late!
I know sir, traffic was bad Im sorry. Did I miss the Barmitzvah?
Yes you did. Now Im afraid yer tardiness is becomming a problem Im gonna have to write you up for th….
And Ill come over and place my hand on the managers shoulder and say, “No….hes been punished enough.”

And would it be to much to ask for a fuckin smoking room at one of these places? I mean its Minnesota not Califuckinstupidfallintotheoceanfornia. Its cold. “Its cold out here. We the tropical people my brotha, let the Europeans deal with this madness.” Thats from Menace II Society. Thats pretty much what I did when I didnt have a job. Just walk around and quote that movie. Then people would say “Hey menace to society, right?” And Id punch em in there fat heads, theyd say “ouch!”, and Id say “Hey Jesus on Ash Wenseday, right?”

So yea a fuckin smokin room. Everyday November-March its just, go outside, fight off polar bears and avoid getten biten by the yak. And thats fine, I know the yaks there just scavagin through the garbage for food, the yaks a great animal, no ones tryin to disparage the yak, Im just sayin is all, if I had a nickel fer everytime I was biten by that yak Id have enough to buy 7 sodas. Honest to god, 7.

Speakin of work: *a meeting talkin about the pregnant lady whos gone* Stupid manager lady: “And were gonna be splitin up Lisas work among you guys because from the sound of it, she might have her baby tonight.”
All: oh yaya, thats nice, ohhh ex-stupid-citing.
Super cool Anndy: ….I hope its still born

Ahhh I didnt say it, but I thought it right away and chuckled. HIGH….Larious. The greatest line never said.

Ya know whatd be a great title for a porn? My Big Fat Greek Asshole. Like My Big Fat Greek Wedding. A sheepish virginy girl sayin, I think its great were engaged. Now you just have to meet my family. I have to warn you, they can get a lil crazy. The rest writes itself.

“Act as if. You know what that means? Act as if. Act as if you’re President of the company. Act as if. Act as if you got a nine inch cock.” Words to live by. Confidence, not cockiness.