Girl Power
Every boy and every girl, spice up your life! Yeah so this post is completely different than what I had originally anticipated writing about. I am 35, in the middle of going through the process of buying my first house while attending graduate school for counseling and working full time. When I turned 30, my then 27 year old sister threw me a surprise party that was 80’s themed and invited our entire extended family. Her party was not as grand because she is the type that has a million friends and is always busy. HOWEVER, our next youngest sister will now be turning 30 in just a few short weeks and I have tortured myself feeling like I HAVE to throw her a bash the way our other sister threw me one. Mostly because me and her have always been the closest sister wise. I truly was starting to feel like I couldn’t do it but now, everything with the house seems to be at a lull now that the appraisal was done last week. So me, and my sisters best friend have decided to throw her a party that is late 90s-early 2000’s themed. We have started searching images from google to print in color as faux posters from things such as Lizzie McGuire, Harry Potter, Spice Girls, Dixie Chicks etc… Getting in this mood today made me want to look up some old Disney Channel Original Movies. I finished buying and watching Cadet Kelly and now I am halfway through Right On Track.
What this has made me think of is an article that I read just a few years ago stating that 15 years ago, the whole popular thing was girl power and empowering women and now, the popular thing is doing just the opposite with saying not only can men be women and experience all that they experience (not true btw), but they can also compete in sports on female teams and basically steal their college scholarships by winning and no one bats an eye. Now I will admit, that I agree with the latter, but I didn’t really remember the whole girl power empowerment movement the way it was in the early 2000’s until today. Now I’m mentally going through all the Disney titles that were all about that very subject and along with the ones I watched today there was also ones like Double Teamed, Halloweentown, Zenon, Kim Possible, Motocrossed (which apparently is my sisters favorite), Rip Girls etc. The list goes on and on. And I was that generation. So why don’t I remember feeling so empowered by these movies and tv shows? Well because at the time, I was in high school and I had a mother that always told me I was fat. I wasn’t at the time, but I am now. I can admit that. But at that time, I felt so ugly all the time because I wasn’t super skinny like my sister that threw me my 30 year old party. My mom just told me all the time that I needed to lose weight and I believed her. I look back at my pictures from then now and I’m like, I didn’t look bad at all. But because I thought I did, I remember boys hitting on me and me genuinely thinking they were just messing with me and waiting for me to believe them so they could make fun of me in front of everyone. Wow. Unfortunately there were no female empowerment movies at that time for fat girls or for girls who thought they were fat. I remember watching those movies now and thinking but they don’t count towards me because all the girls in these movies are already skinny and therefore they already have an advantage.
Today at least, I feel like I’ve won in some regards. I’m married to a wonderful manly man who I feel safe with and who takes care of me. He’s beautiful and I love him. I don’t believe in the fat pride movement mostly because Type II diabetes is a very real thing. My grandmother had it and I am currently fighting not to be diagnosed with a full blown case of it. I struggle daily to make myself just go out and try to walk for 30 minutes. I would have to say, the hardest part from my perspective, is trying to put into my mind that just that little walk actually makes a difference. When you see things telling you that it takes a lot more, it can feel overwhelming to keep just doing the small amount that you’re already doing. But at least I’m trying instead of just claiming disadvantage like I would’ve so easily claimed even just 10 years ago.
Are you the only one sizy in your family? Sorry if you find my choice of word distasteful. I just don’t want to refer to you as fat even though you did lol. If your sister is skinny it makes me wonder what the typical body size is in your family. The reason I say that is because I’m wondering if your size is purely psychological manifest. If most females in your family are slight or average, and you’re exceptional, then I think psychological manifest is plausible. If that’s what it is, that’s where you’ll find the resolution you need. You did have a prior form which changed, some how and some why. You can recover it if you want to. But what if you don’t want to? What does your husband think of the two versions of you?  If you’re comfortable, why strive for weight loss? And if you’re not comfortable, is it because of all the hurty stuff or just literally because you don’t feel physically comfortable?
Anyhow, things to do: lots of water daily, no burritos at all ever, or breakfast sausage, no daily dairy, accurate portion meals and snacks consistently, no excessive sodas and the most important and effective tool is quite literally to make a DECISION to do and not do. A decision is more powerful than making a choice. A choice is fluid and flexible. A decision is solid and inflexible. Typically, when one makes a DECISION much of the pieces naturally fall into place and a lot of work does itself.
I don’t remember any girl power stuff from the 90’s but there was in the 80’s. Don’t ask me to be specific though because my brains have zero access to that sector of memory. I was a 14 year old pregnant girl in 1990 so my world was doctor appointments and growing a baby lol.
@elcreature my mom has always been super skinny and so has my now 33 year old sister- the one who’s always had 100 friends. In high school, she was a cheerleader, on cross country and the soccer team etc. I was always told both that I couldn’t measure up and at the same time, that my mom wanted to know why I couldn’t. My sister that’s about to be 30 now is like me; has always been overweight and told to lose weight etc. That’s why I’ve always been the closest to her. Our sister that’s between us was always just the star of the family and loved every minute of it. In the last decade I have only had soda maybe once or twice a month. On average, I exercise 2-3 times a week. But it should be more and I know that. Before the virus stuff I lost 10 pounds over 4 months at a gym. But since it’s been closed I haven’t been able to do all of the routine I was following because of lack of home equipment. Hoping everything here re-opens soon. My husband seems fine with me now. But we’ve only been married a year. He didn’t know me back when I weighed literally 100 pounds less than I do now. I’m not comfortable with it, mostly because clothes look bad and also he’s smaller than I am.
@storyreader12351 I’m going to try to reproduce the comment I previously made. I attached a link so maybe that’s why it glitched? I dunno.
It sounds like you are under a tremendous amount of pressure.
In the attached link is one of my most favorite images. I think it’s very powerful and very beautiful.
I see your mother in the picture but she isn’t the mother in the picture.
Your mind seems to be made so much of your mother’s thoughts. You once believed her but eventually saw differently from what she saw.
You’re rightfully concerned about diabetes and so yours seems to be more of a health mission than an image mission. Two to three times per week of exercise seems plenty to me, unless you’re striving to be a transformative fitness professional.
Here’s the image
https://condenaststore.com/featured/new-yorker-may-15th-2000-carter-goodrich.html?product=art-print
Do you know what you really want for you? Do you still believe your mom? If you believe yourself, I hope you will tell yourself exactly what you believe.
@elcreature thank you. That is a very funny picture. She doesn’t really harp on me anymore or my sister for that matter the way she used to. I guess because we both left home and kind of pushed her away. I don’t think she understands WHY we did that so much as she just understands that it was a direct result. I can’t wait to be able to go back to our gym. I signed up for it because it’s the only one where we live that also has a room with an indoor pool, a swirling hot tub, and a dry sauna and a steam room. I loved getting in the hot tub after one of the harder workout days.
@storyreader12351 awesome! You seem pretty happy 😊
@elcreature thank you!
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Continuing to try, even when you don’t see progress – is the highest dignityÂ
@beecharmer-4 thank you. I will never quit trying.
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Hey, just want to let you know that Target stores have “Girl Power” stickers. I work in retail merchandising and one of my projects today was to install the Zaks Designs shipper and product but the store didn’t receive the shipper yet. Anyway, the company sends me product detail so I took a screenshot of the sticker pack. They’re packs of ten for $4.99 (meh, you could probably find better stuff / prices elsewhere on the magical internet lol). Some of the sticker say “Boss Babe” and “Girls Rule”.
https://imgur.com/a/cj5n68s
@elcreature cool thank you. That might come in handy for my sister’s party.
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