Michael was 18 yesterday!!

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY MICHAEL

Yesterday was my second son’s, Michael, birthday, he turned 18. This past summer I didn’t think he’d live to see this day. And yet he has thrived and grown. He is in the process of becoming a caring giving young man. He still does the stupid teen-ager stuff, but for the most part, he’s more responsible and even more caring.

After his best friend died in 2004, he wanted to get a tattoo, with RIP, the boy’s name and the date he died. I asked him to give it a year to come to terms with his death and not do anything for at least a year. I told him that if he gave me the year, if he still wanted it I would pay for it. Well, for his birthday, his girlfriend asked me if she could get his the tattoo. I paid some towards it so that at least I kept up my promise to him.

This  is what the tattoo looks like:           

This is only hours after he got it……I think it looks Ok…he DID say, however, he would never get another one as it hurt way too much.

On a different note, I haven’t written much, for various reasons, one being, I’ve been in bit of a funk, between the lies hubby tells and other things, I’ve been not so happy.

The other thing that has me bummed is I stared a job…..working 8 and a half hours a day. Yes, I know that many, many women work, but what has me bummed is all the hours and time I spent studying to become a medical coder/biller and when I couldn’t find a job fast enough to keep him happy, he bugged and bugged until I finally got tired of it all and got a job in a pharmaceutical company. The other thing is we both agreed that me working 30 hours (like I was before) was what I would look for again, but that changed in his eyes, he wanted full time, and I just haven’t adjusting to it yet. I am so tired by the end of the day that I have no time for anything. On top of it all, the training at this place, leaves A LOT to be desired. In fact, it’s almost non-existant. One of the younger men shows me something once and then ignores me, when I ask for help, he tells me he’ll be right there, and doesn’t show up to help for hours. Even the supervisor is the same way. The other weird thing is that NO ONE talks to me, like in a conversation….it’s so uncomfortable. And no one has EVER asked me to have lunch with them. SO I go to the cafeteria and eat by myself as I read a book……. It’s been a very lonely time for me…

BUT, I have decided that I am in control of my thoughts and my happiness. I have to make the best of it. And So that is what I shall do…………get an attitude adjustment. One good thing about me, no matter how bad things get, I ALWAYS bounce back, sometimes sooner than I have this time, but I always find that inner happiness….

So thanks for your notes and your concerns, I am fine and I will always find a way back to that, no matter what.