why won’t you talk to me?

so this is going to be a friends entry, i figured i should write about why im sick of everyone at home lol

it started in lanzarote, i fell out with kyle, ive never been that fond of him, hes an arrogant twat a lot of the time, the incident im referring to was when he was having a go at ffion (his twin sister) over something ridiculous. i think she looked at a map and pointed out where we were on the island, and he was saying things like ‘god, have u only just worked that out?’ and generally making her feel stupid. thats what he does, he makes other ppl feel stupid, he has to try and assert how much better he is than everyone else, and he especially does this to fee, who often repeats things that he says, like how stupid she is and stuff – he’s got her saying those things herself. i decided to stand up for her, asked if it really mattered in the slightest whether she knew that or not and generally asking him wtf he thought he was doing. he decided to go off and sulk saying he wouldnt stay in the same room as us as he wasnt wanted or some other such bullshit. i asked him if he was going to apologise to ffion, he said no because he didnt appreciate being ganged up on. wtf? how is that relevant and how do i constitute a gang anyway (needless to say everyone else sat there in silence)

afterwards things were very awkward, i felt like everyone hated me, i walked past westy who didnt say anything to me, went and sat with chris and rob who sat in silence as well (also heard chris telling tom he ‘just didnt like confrontation’ ie, implying that i do)

so that was nice… after the holiday we end up at kyle and ffion’s house, i dnt want to go because i dnt want to see kyle but i am convinced to go and have a horrible time, at one point i tell kyle i wish he would be nicer to his sister, his response is that i seem to enjoy nothing more than having a go at him (again i love confrontation, again he is avoiding the subject), i tell him that after our argument in lanzarote i went to my room and cried for several hours – thats true, i couldnt stop crying and pretty much cried myself to sleep. he says nothing (ive just noticed im shaking as i write this lol). i cant get home as chris says he will give me a lift but then decides to stay so i have to as well. i cry myself to sleep again.

i try to avoid kyle for the rest of the holiday – ive pretty much decided i dnt want anything to do with him any more. he is really not a nice person and not someone i want to be friends with. i hate the way he treats ppl, especially ffion, and apparently this is due to some special twin relationship that i can never understand (he started saying sibling then changed it to twin so noone else could say they understood either). i dnt understand how there can be a relationship that means one twin gets to shit all over the other one all the time. i do kno other twins (even a pair of twins where there actually are major differences in ‘intelligence’ (a made-up concept as far as im concerned)) and they dont have that special twin relationship. he takes his own insecurities out on other ppl and uses the excuse that hes ‘depressed’ (hes not) to treat other ppl like shit. he thinks he has the monopoly on being upset, like noone else has ever felt that way before. and ppl accept it, when kyle’s in a mood its just normal, when i seem to be (i wasnt, more about that later), i get ‘whats wrong with louise now?’, it pisses me off

anyway so i avoided him for most of the holidays and all i get is hassle about it, not ppl saying they wish they could see me more or even see both of us together but i get things like ‘you’re making my life really difficult’ (ffion) and ‘i dnt agree with what you’re doing’ (chris). the only person who reacted nicely was westy (friends-wise, obviously tommy was brilliant), he asked me why i didnt want to see him and i explained that i couldnt bear to even be in the same room as him, he had really upset me and even the thought of seeing him made me get so worked up, westy just listened and accepted it, i appreciated that so much, everyone else was shit

i said i had a bad time at tom’s party, this was because of chris, all of a sudden he seemed to hate me and i couldnt work out what i’d done (we were getting on great up until that point), he suddenly wouldnt talk to me, i walked in on him and sophie talking about me, later found out they were bitching about me avoiding them, i wasnt and they knew why i hadnt seen them much – i was working lots and didnt want to see kyle – and jesus why couldnt they just ask me. thats what our whole friendship group is like, if you have a problem u dnt tak to the person involved, u bitch about them behind their back, thats why it annoyed me so much about me avoiding kyle, everyone else slags him off all the time then is fine to his face, at least i was being honest… anyway, chris said a number of things that upset me… you’re disgusting… u disgust me… no, u cant lean on me!… whats wrong with louise now?!